Kan­ga­roo Kitty: When a cat car­rier just won’t do

The Hamilton Spectator - - GO - SH­ERYL NADLER

There’s an ad float­ing around Face­book that is kind of my mother’s night­mare.

It’s for a su­per comfy-look­ing over­sized hoodie sweat­shirt with an enor­mous front kan­ga­roo pouch, cre­ated specif­i­cally for car­ry­ing around your cat. Or small dog, I sup­pose.

But this item re­ally seems more like a cat per­son thing, even though peo­ple who dress their mini pooches in baby clothes and push them around in strollers are, es­sen­tially, cat peo­ple.

I thought it was a joke, to be hon­est — this cat-car­ry­ing, Snug­glieesque sweat­shirt. You know, to mock peo­ple who might be in­clined to wear such a thing. Be­cause I don’t care how much you love your pet (and I do love my pets), this hoodie is a whole other level of sumthin.

It’s like the fe­line equiv­a­lent of baby-wear­ing, ex­cept wear­ing a baby is nor­mal, I guess, but wear­ing a cat is, um … well, like I said, it’s my mother’s night­mare.

Maybe not her worst night­mare, but it’s up there.

I know this be­cause of the tinge of alarm in her voice when I told her I’d taken in an­other cat, a kit­ten in dis­tress that was ap­par­ently dumped near my home (be­cause peo­ple are awe­some) and was — to put it mildly — freak­ing out.

For a week she fol­lowed sev­eral of my neigh­bours and me to our re­spec­tive homes, me­ow­ing loudly and walk­ing on our heels as we headed to our front doors. So des­per­ate was she to get in­side, she shoved aside fear of hu­mans, of dogs, of other cats. The neigh­bours and I were keenly aware of the new­comer in our midst. Clearly an in­door cat who was not used to be­ing out­doors, she sat on our pa­tios wail­ing, beg­ging for food and com­fort. I fi­nally re­lented, took her in. (And yes, I made a real at­tempt to find the own­ers, ob­vi­ously to no avail.)

For those of you keep­ing score, this means I now have two cats and a dog. For a per­son who has cat al­lergy-in­duced asthma, that’s a whole lotta cat in my home. But hey, I just go for weekly al­lergy shots, take daily an­ti­his­tamines, use a steroid puffer and bron­chodila­tor ev­ery day. No big­gie. The im­por­tant thing is that the fine, up­stand­ing cit­i­zen who dumped a help­less kit­ten on our col­lec­tive doorstep sleeps well at night. Ok, buddy? Good for you.

Any­hoo, I sup­pose my mother’s con­cern could have been for my phys­i­cal health. But I can’t help but think the alarm in her voice also re­vealed a fear that her el­dest daugh­ter, the un­mar­ried daugh­ter in her 40s who now lives with two cats and a dog, would be­come a per­son who buys an over­sized hooded sweat­shirt to carry around her cats.

Be­cause this cat-wear­ing hoodie, it’s not a joke. It’s a real thing you can buy on Ama­zon. You can even get one with lit­tle kitty ears on the hood, so it look like you’re the momma cat, tot­ing around your baby cat, kan­ga­roo-stylz. I’m just say­ing, it’s pos­si­ble my mother is also con­cerned for my men­tal health, fear­ing that I’m one stray cat away from buy­ing one of th­ese things. I mean, it would be eas­ier to herd cats if you could keep one or two of them in your front pocket, right?

It’s one thing if you’re a 20some­thing, dressed head to toe in candy-coloured vin­tage cloth­ing you un­earthed at a hip­ster mar­ket­place. And you pro­fess your love for cats be­cause you’re ba­si­cally the de­mo­graphic that started the cat video craze, openly lov­ing a crea­ture that claws your face off when it’s hun­gry or wants to play. Be­cause it’s ironic. Or be­cause you’re be­ing hon­est, but let’s face it, you’re kind of be­ing ironic any­way. Ei­ther way, it’s OK for you to wear this hoodie.

It’s like a glama­zon Mac stu­dent wear­ing py­jama pants to Forti­nos vs. me wear­ing py­jama pants to Forti­nos. You see what I’m say­ing? Com­pletely dif­fer­ent. So maybe I should stop wear­ing py­jama pants to Forti­nos, too.

That’s a lot to think about for this week, so I’ll leave it here. And if you do buy this sweat­shirt, I want to see pho­tos of you tot­ing your cats, please.

AMA­ZON

This cat-car­ry­ing Snug­glie-es­que sweat­shirt might just be the per­fect pet car­rier.

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