This takes look­ing for young tal­ent a bit too far

The Hamilton Spectator - - SPORTS - DWIGHT PERRY HEAD­LINES

Does Lane Kif­fin coach at Florida Atlantic, or Bring ’Em Young? The FAU foot­ball coach just of­fered a schol­ar­ship to a 13-year-old, Kaden Martin, the son of USC of­fen­sive co-or­di­na­tor Tee Martin. So, what’s next — Kif­fin show­ing up, hat in hand, at Ser­ena Williams’ next ul­tra­sound exam?

At Sport­sPickle.com: “EA Sports an­nounces Mad­den 18 with Tom Brady on the cover will have ‘the most cheat codes ever.’”

At TheKicker.com: “Skip Bay­less blasts LeBron for rest­ing be­tween se­ries.”

PASS THE CAR­ROTS

Ari­zona Car­di­nals coach Bruce Ari­ans is com­ing out with a book ti­tled “The Quar­ter­back Whis­perer.” Spoiler alert: The se­cret to win­ning over Ben Roeth­lis­berger is two sugar cubes and a scratch be­tween the ears.

TV QUIZ

“Fire­house,” a new ABC drama based in Seat­tle, will cen­tre on: a) fire­fight­ers b) the Mariners’ bullpen

TANKS A LOT

Mav­er­icks owner Mark Cuban says his team lost on pur­pose this past sea­son af­ter it was elim­i­nated from play­off con­tention. Which also prob­a­bly ex­plains their 8-7 game score against the Nets.

BRAKE TIME IS OVER

Reds stolen-base champ Billy Hamilton has chal­lenged John Ross III, the Ben­gals rookie re­ceiver who broke the NFL com­bine record, to a 40-yard dash. Hamilton’s big­gest chal­lenge, pun­dits pre­dict, will be re­sist­ing the urge to slide af­ter 90 feet.

WHAT A WAY TO GO

NBA com­bine ques­tion of the year: Kansas guard Frank Ma­son III says he was asked how he pre­ferred to die. No truth to the ru­mour his an­swer was “get­ting drafted by the New Jersey Nets.”

BE­WARE OF CURVES

What bet­ter pitcher to throw off-speed stuff in garbage time than Seat­tle U’s righthander Jan­son Junk?

TUMS NOT IN­CLUDED

Food fare at Tampa Bay Rays games in­cludes a 4-pound ham­burger and fries, with game tick­ets and other prizes awarded to any­one who can eat it in 30 min­utes. For­tu­nately, no one has yet to chan­nel their in­ner Ernie Banks and said, “Let’s eat two.”

WATCH YOUR EX­HAUST

NASCAR made driver Carl Long strip off the logo of “Veed­verks” — a mar­i­juana-va­p­ing com­pany — from his car. On the bright side, though, he still gets to smoke his tires.

HOLD­ING CALL

Weather prob­lems have pushed the open­ing of the Rams and Charg­ers’ new sta­dium in In­gle­wood, Calif., back a full year, un­til 2020. The con­struc­tion agree­ment, we as­sume, spells out a de­lay-of-games penalty.

PASS THE CHEETOS

Pot-lov­ing ex-NFL run­ning back Ricky Williams will be a key­note speaker at the South­east Cannabis Con­fer­ence and Expo next month in Fort Laud­erdale, Fla. What, was the Mile High City booked?

TALK­ING THE TALK

Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., on for­mer Olympic skater Michelle Kwan fil­ing for di­vorce from Clay Pell: “Word is he has gone into hid­ing and swears he is be­ing fol­lowed by Jeff Gil­looly.”

Jazz swing­man Joe In­gles, to the De­seret News, on op­pos­ing play­ers’ com­plaints that Salt Lake City has no nightlife: “I’ve got 9month-old twins. My nightlife fin­ishes about 8 p.m.”

MORE HEAD­LINES

At Sport­sPickle.com: “Gronk says he will be dis­creet about top-se­cret in­for­ma­tion shared with him by Don­ald Trump.”

At TheKicker.com: “Awk­ward: Yan­kees in­vite all of Jeter’s exes to Derek Jeter Day.”

ON A FAST BREAK

At­lanta Hawks cen­tre Dwight Howard was pulled over in Dun­woody, Ga., for go­ing 95 m.p.h. in a 65-mph zone. His lawyers plan to put up an un­usual de­fence: He wasn’t in the lane for three sec­onds.

HEAD GAMES

Some 25 NFL teams have pur­chased the ZERO1 hel­met from Seat­tle-based Vi­cis for test­ing in off-sea­son prac­tices this spring. In­sid­ers say it’ll be the league’s big­gest hel­met break­through since Mel Kiper’s hairdo.

QUOTE MARKS

Jan­ice Hough of LeftCoastS­port­sBabe.com, af­ter the NFL de­nied se­rial dope-smoker Josh Gor­don’s ap­peal for re­in­state­ment: “Now if he’d only hit a woman while in a steroid-in­duced rage af­ter be­ing caught with a DUI, he’d be back by mid­sea­son.”

Brad Dick­son of the Omaha (Neb.) WorldHer­ald, af­ter a Salt Lake Bees pitcher was called for a balk af­ter a gust of wind blew him off the mound: “OK, I’m think­ing there’s no need to test this guy for per­for­mance-en­hancers.”

San An­to­nio Star Monique Cur­rie, when asked what her not-so-friendly in-game con­ver­sa­tion with New York’s Brit­tany Boyd was about: “I couldn’t think straight be­cause her breath was stink­ing.”

IN­JURY OF THE WEEK

Blue Jays out­fielder Dar­rell Ce­cil­iani landed on the dis­abled list af­ter he par­tially dis­lo­cated his left shoul­der — while hit­ting a home run.

CUR­TIS COMP­TON, TNS

Yes, Dar­rell Ce­cil­iani, the In­jury of the Week be­longs to you.

NEIL­SON BARNARD, GETTY IM­AGES

Watch out, Ser­ena, Lane Kif­fin may be right around the next cor­ner.

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