How much is too much work done on your face?
Q . Some of my high-school girlfriends got together recently. We’re now in our late 30s.
I wondered if I’d offended one of them who seemed to be constantly smirking at me. She’s extremely successful and I thought she might’ve developed an air of superiority.
When I later asked one of the other women about it, she laughed.
She said our friend’s “almost frozen” facial expression was from too much “work” done on it.
I know some women our age get treatments for facial fillers, Botox, etc. But how much is too much?
Also, if all your friends now look 10 years younger than you, is it time to “do something” too?
A. Your friend may believe that to be highly successful in her particular field, she must maintain a youthful appearance. Women and men alike who feel this way use a range of choices, e.g. Botox injections to erase frown lines through temporary muscle paralysis, injectable fillers that plump age lines, microdermabrasion that “sands” skin to smoothness. Plus the more invasive and expensive face-lift surgery that lasts longer, but can also dramatically change a person’s outward image. What’s too much? You’ve seen the extremes on some celebrities — cheeks over-plumped, eyes widened alert by stretched temples, expressionless foreheads, etc.
Do you need to follow your agemates?
It’s a strictly personal choice. Maintenance gets pricey while youthfulness also shines through from healthy fitness/nutrition and a positive personality.
Anyone considering cosmetic treatments should talk first to an accredited cosmetic surgeon or dermatologist, and learn exactly what will be done and the expected outcome.
Do not go to non-accredited practitioners who’ve simply rented some basic equipment and taken a shortterm course.
Whatever’s done to your face, you’ll be wearing it.
We both suffer from his ED
Q. My husband’s suffered from erectile dysfunction (ED) since we met in his early 20s.
We’re 30 now, finally seeking whether there’s an underlying cause.
It’s frustrating when doctors immediately tell him it’s psychological due to his younger age. One doctor immediately suggested we see a sex therapist.
We cannot afford this, and also feel it’s a physical problem, so he’s having tests.
If it’s not physical, then we’d explore therapy.
It’s taking an awful toll on my husband’s confidence. But I’m also suffering through this (low confidence that I’m attractive, constantly feeling rejected, wondering if he’s secretly gay).
I need a real-people support group for partners of those suffering with ED. I sometimes have harsh feelings towards him as if this is his fault, though it’s not. I don’t want an online group.
A. Now that you’re finally looking into this and taking tests don’t turn on your doctor for advice that bothers you. Instead, weigh it among the things you do know about ED and try to learn more.
The suggestion of sex therapy wasn’t an insult or blame. It may be helpful for your own frustration, and feelings of hurt, and your husband’s frustration and anxiety about this. Therapy has a place even if there is a physical cause involved.
The cost for a few sessions can be well worth the gained confidence about resolving the issue. A sex therapist would most likely know if there’s any ED-support group in your area.