Do you need a par­ent-nanny?

The Hamilton Spectator - - LIVING - JOHN ROSEMOND

Do you need a par­ent-nanny? Not a nanny for your child, mind you, but one for YOU!

I re­cently in­tro­duced my read­ers to what I call “up­side-down, in­sid­e­out and turned around back­wards par­ent-view dis­or­der” (the col­umn in ques­tion is cur­rently posted on john­rose­ The symp­toms of this ubiq­ui­tous mal­ady in­clude per­va­sive and per­sis­tent par­ent­ing stress, worry, anx­i­ety, guilt, anger, re­sent­ment, and then, more guilt. When all is said and done, these poor souls are in never-end­ing con­fu­sion over “Who’s in charge around here?”

To help you self-iden­tify, take my quiz. Sim­ply write T (for True) or F (for False) for each of the 20 ques­tions. Don’t think too much about any an­swer. Go with your ini­tial in­cli­na­tion.

1. I think more about my chil­dren than I think about any­thing else.

2. I be­lieve par­ents should pay as much at­ten­tion to their chil­dren as they pos­si­bly can.

3. I want to be in­volved in ev­ery as­pect of my kids’ lives.

4. My re­la­tion­ships with my chil­dren are the most im­por­tant re­la­tion­ships in my life. 5. I want my chil­dren to like me. 6. When a de­ci­sion of mine up­sets one of my chil­dren, I usu­ally sec­ond-guess my­self.

7. It’s a par­ent’s re­spon­si­bil­ity to help a child get good grades in school.

8. Bul­ly­ing is any­thing done to my child by an­other child that up­sets my child.

9. Other adults of­ten fail to treat my child prop­erly.

10. When my child feels up­set, I feel up­set as well.

11. I usu­ally fin­ish an in­struc­tion to my child with the word “OK?”

12. One of my chil­dren is very ar­gu­men­ta­tive.

13. One of my chil­dren seems to be very needy of my at­ten­tion.

14. One of my chil­dren of­ten in­ter­rupts me when I’m talk­ing to some­one else.

15. Rais­ing a child (or chil­dren) is the hard­est thing I’ve ever done.

16. Wor­ry­ing about one or an­other of my kids causes me fre­quent sleep de­pri­va­tion.

17. One of my chil­dren is very de­mand­ing and dis­re­spect­ful.

18. One of my chil­dren can­not take “no” for an an­swer.

19. I feel guilty about some­times want­ing my chil­dren to leave me alone.

20. I must be do­ing some­thing wrong.

If you an­swered True to be­tween zero and 5 ques­tions, in­clu­sive of 5, you’re OK. Re­main calm and stay the course. If you an­swered True to be­tween 6 and 10 ques­tions, in­clu­sive, you are shaky but hang­ing in there. If you an­swered True to be­tween 11 and 15 ques­tions, your par­ent­ing men­tal health is over the edge. If you an­swered True to more than 15 ques­tions, you are a cer­ti­fied par­ent­ing wreck. You need a live-in par­ent­ing ex­pert — a par­ent-nanny. Call me. Any­thing is ne­go­tiable.

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