Reconfiguring the map for Canada’s new states
Now that the Europeans share a common currency ( I’m a little late; I don’t follow the news much) there is recurring talk of eventually forming a sovereignty associated United States of Europe. The Europeans have never been shy to redraw their countries’ borders, and have done so, many times both before and after two world wars. The dissolving of the USSR alone is a very large matzo ball in recent history. Their maps may as well be done on an Etch- a- Sketch.
Over on our side of the big pond, North America’s redraws have been yawners by comparison:
The new states of Alaska and Hawaii ( 1959) and Canada’s Newfoundland ( 1949) and Nunavut ( 1999). It seems like the colonies are not as adventuresome as the old imperial mother lands.
Here in Canada, it’s high time we reinvented ourselves to suit the changing world. Funny, we named our currency after that of the United States ( We even refer to our government as “federal”) but prudish about adopting the term ‘ state.’ Being ” stately” clearly has more class than being “provincial,” no? Following the European lead, I think we should rename ourselves The United States of Canada. And we should redraw the map of Canada to reflect modern times. Here are my suggestions for 13 Canadian states with some new names:
Diverse Columbia: Formerly British Columbia, but let’s face it, there has been a cultural shift.
Wildrose: Formerly Alberta. But with oil money even at half its former price comes growing cries for independence. So name it after the next party that will rule forever.
Rider Nation: Formerly Saskatchewan. The name reflects the region’s main preoccupation: Its CFL team.
Manitoba: Good as is. ( I don’t know what it means, anyway. Probably, ‘ Geez there are a lot of mosquitoes here’ in native lingo.)
Ontario is way too big to manage, as is, so split it into two states: Western Ontario and Eastern Ontario. Neat and nice.
Atlantis: The classiest name of all incorporates most of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, ( you are too small to be a province) P. E. I. and Newfoundland ( named after a wrestler, The Rock.)
Acadia: The remaining ( to be determined) parts of the present Atlantic provinces that are mainly populated by separation- minded Acadians. Give the people what they want, I say. They already have their own flag which, when I first saw, I thought was the flag of Cuba.
Yukon: Our version of Alaska, it’s time has come.
New Nunavut: Add to this the northern half of Quebec ( which had been a gift from Canada to Quebec long ago) and all of Labrador. This would now be the largest state in the Canadian union. This is fair because the residents are mostly original natives of this land and should respectfully have the biggest piece of the pie.
Turks and Caicos: Our version of America’s Hawaii. Think of the tourism business from our cold end.
Montreal ( a city state): Mostly federalist anyway, this would put to rest the debates over bilingualism, charter of values and Quebec’s referendum hangovers.
Quebec: Will now be comprised of what it pretty much was to start with, before Canada tripled their land: The middle part down to the U. S. border, not including Montreal.
The United States of Canada - has a nice ring to it, you think?
Okay, before you get upset: The United States will have to change its name since Europe and Canada have horned in on the term. How about: The United States of the Southern Half of North America?
Okay, forget I brought the whole thing up.
Is it time for Canada to reconsider its map?