Ac­tiv­i­ties Night: Tin­der for SSMU

The McGill Daily - - Compendium - J. spanke Blarg Writ­ers

There are only three types of peo­ple on Tin­der. Those hunt­ing for that insta- goals re­la­tion­ship, those who have no idea what they w ant, and those just tryna fuck.

All of th­ese peo­ple at­tended the SSMU Ac­tiv­i­ties N ight. The tablers , clearly, ar e search­ing for a con­nec­tion. They want pas­sion. They want com­mit­ment. They want you to pay for their Tim­bits at meet­ings. They want to tag you in their pho­tos and have you be cool with it even if all your friends rag on you for be­ing whipped.

Un­for­tu­nately, most of what they ha ve to work with ar e those in the sec­ond and third cat­e­gory. We saw the wan­der­ers drift­ing from ta­ble to ta­ble, en­gag­ing some poor hope­ful club for a hot minute be­for e “oh, apolo­gies, my friend w ants me to go meet them o ver ther e.” I SEE Y OU TALK­ING TO THE OTHER A CAPPELLA GROUPS , CASEY. Th­ese peo­ple talked to at least twenty clubs , but only gave their email over to one, and un­sub­scribed from the lists` erv the very next day. Or when­ever they had time to get around to hit­ting un­sub­scribe.

They’re kind of in a weir d tran­si­tion phase right now. Sorry. Last, but not least, we have those look­ing to hit it and quit it. Re­ally. They’ ll shake your hand, snag as many pieces of candy they can fit in their other hand WHILE THEY’ RE STILL SHAK­ING YOUR HAND, and dis­ap­pear be­fore you even know their name. This was not a mis­take on their part. They don’t want you to know their name.

How­ever, there is still hope. Some­times the heav­ens part and the cir­cle com­pletes it­self and a stu­dent look­ing to pad their gr ad school re­sumé / ac­tu­ally gen­uinely in­ter­ested in your ec­cen­tric es­o­teric en­gage­ments will join your exec board and shame­lessly pro­mote your club events on Face­book and go to ev­ery sin­gle meet­ing. Un­til, of course, they meet this re­ally in­ter­est­ing per­son and pic­nic dates re­place club fund rais­ers on their cal­en­dar. Ah well. There’s al­ways next year.

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