Vi­o­lence Seen By Our Chil­dren

The Miracle - - Women - By: Asma Sh­mas Asma Shums <as­mashums@gmail.com>

Vi­o­lence in our fam­ily has been long ig­nored. Ev­ery­one we speak to agrees vi­o­lence is not the an­swer go­ing as far as re­count­ing in­stances where an in­di­vid­ual was taught’ a les­son via vi­o­lence which was sim­ply fruit­less. Ev­ery­one we speak to agrees chil­dren need love and at­ten­tion the most. Then why do we think it is okay to com­bine these op­po­sites and give our ac­cep­tance to vi­o­lence in our home? Vi­o­lence is a cy­cle. It will re­peat. Maybe not in the same man­ner it was re­ceived, but it will re­peat. Our chil­dren be­ing ex­posed to vi­o­lence to oth­ers in their home and/or be­ing sub­jected to vi­o­lence them­selves are af­fected not only in that mo­ment but for the rest of their lives. Do­mes­tic and fam­ily vi­o­lence af­fects their phys­i­cal and men­tal well­be­ing, de­vel­op­ment, school­ing, and a po­ten­tial av­enue for es­ca­lated events in the fu­ture that re­sults in jail or worse. Our cul­ture has cre­ated sit­u­a­tions where hit­ting your child lightly’ is ac­cept­able only to teach them a les­son. But why can we not use our words? We teach them to use theirs when they fight with their sib­lings or the neigh­bour­hood kids. Who de­fines lightly? More im­por­tantly, who de­cides that it is time for teach­ing a les­son or a mis­take has been made? Par­ents need to un­der­stand the ever chang­ing en­vi­ron­ment chil­dren are grow­ing up in cur­rently. There are more pres­sures from the out­side world to look a cer­tain way, live a cer­tain life­style, and present your­self with words and lan­guages in a cer­tain way. These sit­u­a­tions will con­tinue to arise with your chil­dren and they will deal with ex­act sit­u­a­tion with their chil­dren. This is the golden op­por­tu­nity to be an ac­tual par­ent and lis­ten to them to come to a con­clu­sion whether it re­quires them chang­ing via your ed­u­ca­tion or you chang­ing with a re­fined per­spec­tive. It will help create a line of com­mu­ni­ca­tion where your child can use when things are sim­ply un­com­fort­able to out­right un­bear­able. This is the way to make sure your chil­dren are not en­gag­ing in drugs, al­co­hol, or vi­o­lence to re­lease their emo­tions and will not con­tinue when they have their own fam­ily. If any­thing, take this op­por­tu­nity to iden­tify pos­si­ble or on­go­ing fam­ily vi­o­lence in your home and strive to a more peace­ful and re­spect­ful fam­ily life. Sup­port them by hav­ing a con­ver­sa­tion. Pro­tect them when they are fac­ing vi­o­lence. Build a closer bond with them. Equip them with the most pow­er­ful tool they have; mouth. Teach them re­spect by re­spect­ing them. Be a par­ent. Info:

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