Par­ent re­fuses to let oth­ers post kids’ pho­tos

The Recorder & Times (Brockville) - - LIFE - AMY DICKINSON Email: askamy@tri­bune.com Twit­ter: @ask­ingamy

Dear Amy: What is the eti­quette on tak­ing pho­tos of other peo­ple’s chil­dren and post­ing them on so­cial me­dia?

I am the mother of two small chil­dren. The first time I en­coun­tered this is­sue was when my old­est was 2 and my youngest was a few months old. We at­tended a fam­ily func­tion and a guest at the party took pic­tures of me and my chil­dren. He proudly showed me the im­ages and told me that he had posted them on his Face­book ac­count.

I kindly told him to please re­move the im­ages off his ac­count. I was shocked by his re­ac­tion; he be­came up­set and made a huge scene at the party, but I did not back down (and my hus­band stood by me). I have ex­pe­ri­enced ver­sions of this since then.

My so­cial me­dia ac­counts are all pri­vate. I feel that my job as a par­ent is to pro­tect my chil­dren, and that in­cludes their so­cial me­dia foot­print.

I do not post many pho­tos of my chil­dren and I would never post a pic­ture of some­one else’s child with­out the par­ents’ per­mis­sion. I go as far as to ask the par­ent if it’s OK to take a pic­ture of their child and then in­form them that I will NOT be shar­ing them on so­cial me­dia.

I know that it will get harder for me to con­trol this once they are in­volved in sports and ac­tiv­i­ties where group pic­tures are taken or where my chil­dren hap­pen to be in the back­ground, but their faces are very clear. Am I wrong in think­ing a per­son should ask the par­ents’ per­mis­sion be­fore shar­ing the im­ages on­line?

Do par­ents feel that since their child is in the pic­ture, too, it’s OK to share? I can­not imag­ine I am the only par­ent that feels like this. How do other par­ents han­dle this? — WONDERING MOM Dear Wondering: The eti­quette, which is also good old­fash­ioned com­mon sense, is to al­ways re­spect par­ents’ con­cerns re­gard­ing their own chil­dren. Your prac­tice of main­tain­ing pri­vacy and con­trol of your chil­dren’s im­ages is what all good and thought­ful par­ents should do. Your habit of al­ways ask­ing if you can take a pic­ture, and then as­sur­ing par­ents that you won’t post it on so­cial me­dia, is wise, sound and re­spect­ful. Other par­ents should not post pho­tos with your chil­dren in them with­out ask­ing you. They also should not tag your kids’ names in pho­tos.

Dear Amy: Thank you for your ad­vice con­cern­ing how par­ents can help to ed­u­cate their chil­dren about the dan­gers they face when en­coun­ter­ing guns at some­one’s home.

Please con­tinue to re­mind par­ents that they should al­ways ask other fam­i­lies if they have guns in their homes be­fore send­ing kids there on a play­date! — GRATE­FUL Dear Grate­ful: Re­spon­si­ble gun own­ers should ex­pect and wel­come this ques­tion.

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