Open­ing Cer­e­mony lives up to ex­pec­ta­tions

Puts on a fes­tive drag show at Fash­ion Week

Tillsonburg News - - LIFE - Jo­ce­lyn noveck Email: askamy@tri­bune.com Twit­ter: @ask­ingamy

neW yorK — open­ing Cer­e­mony, the la­bel that al­ways seems to find quirkier and more un­usual ways to dis­play its clothes dur­ing Fash­ion Week, upped the ante on sun­day with a fes­tive drag show, fea­tur­ing a sur­prise per­for­mance by Christina aguilera and an ap­pear­ance by nicki mi­naj.

the event, called the gift of showz, was cre­ated by sasha velour, the drag per­former who last year won sea­son 9 of ru­paul’s drag race, and starred velour and a num­ber of other prom­i­nent drag per­form­ers.

the per­form­ers wore items from open­ing Cer­e­mony’s lat­est col­lec­tion as they took the stage at a West vil­lage cabaret, le pois­son rouge, to model or to lip sync, cheered on by an en­thu­si­as­tic crowd that in­cluded mi­naj in the front row. the rap­per was at­tend­ing her first show since Fri­day’s al­ter­ca­tion with Cardi b at a Fash­ion Week party that made head­lines.

as the per­form­ers did their num­bers, a run­ning joke emerged that aguilera was there, but at first, it turned out only to be a cutout fig­ure of her, and then it was an im­i­ta­tor. at the end, though, the kid­ding was over, and the real aguilera turned up to de­light the crowd with a song of her own.

over the years, open­ing Cer­e­mony’s founders, Hum­berto leon and Carol lim, have found a se­ries of in­ven­tive ways to present their clothes at Fash­ion Week. they once had an ed­i­ble wall of ooz­ing choco­late. an­other time, it was a mar­tial arts dis­play. last year, they gave a 40-minute dance per­for­mance.

leon wrote in a pro­gram note that grow­ing up gay in a tra­di­tional Chi­nese fam­ily in los an­ge­les, he dis­cov­ered an all-ages club that fea­tured drag shows, teach­ing him about “a com­mu­nity i didn’t know i had been long­ing for.”

“What drew me to drag shows as a teenager is the same thing that pro­pelled Carol and me to start open­ing Cer­e­mony,” he said. “a cel­e­bra­tion of in­di­vid­u­al­ity, free­dom of ex­pres­sion, and the idea that re­al­iz­ing your dreams is only a fab­u­lous out­fit away.”

per­form­ers in­cluded Hun­gry, who is based in ber­lin and is singer bjork’s makeup artist, and the amer­i­can drag artist lypsinka, along with a num­ber of other artists.

Dear Amy:

my wife and i have been to­gether since 2010. our mar­riage has never been per­fect, but we have man­aged to stay to­gether. We’ve both been mar­ried be­fore and have kids from our first mar­riages.

last week­end, my wife’s ex­hus­band (fa­ther of her 14-yearold son) died — ei­ther from an over­dose, or by sui­cide.

in­stead of her son be­ing dis­traught, he is tak­ing the news well. His dad has not been in his life much, since the dad has been in prison mul­ti­ple times.

my wife, how­ever, is torn up over his death. she has said things such as, “i can’t be­lieve he is gone; why would he do this to us...?” she has been cry­ing prac­ti­cally non­stop.

this is tak­ing a toll on our al­ready chal­leng­ing re­la­tion­ship. i feel as though she is still in love with him and is go­ing to miss him.

i feel the op­po­site way about my ex-wife (mother of my kids). if she died, i would be throw­ing a huge party. i’d cel­e­brate, not cry.

i can’t imag­ine any­one be­ing this up­set over some­one they haven’t had a re­la­tion­ship with in 10 years. He has never paid child sup­port, so there is no fi­nan­cial at­tach­ment.

i can’t help feel­ing that be­cause she is so up­set about this death, that maybe there was more go­ing on be­tween them over the years, dur­ing the time we’ve been to­gether.

am i wrong for think­ing there is some­thing wrong here?

— WtF

Dear WTF:

yes, there is some­thing wrong here. With you.

per­haps your wife is cry­ing and car­ry­ing on be­cause she is ba­si­cally beg­ging you to no­tice and to talk to her about her feel­ings. not for you to tell her how to feel, or ex­pound on how you would cel­e­brate your ex’s death (that’s nice, by the way), but to com­fort her, and ask her to de­scribe her own emo­tions, even if you don’t un­der­stand or share them.

maybe she would emote a lit­tle less if you emoted a lit­tle more — or at all. yes, she should prob­a­bly dial down her emo­tions, while you should dial up your own.

the per­son you should both be pay­ing close at­ten­tion to is this 14-year-old boy. Kids this age never ex­press sad­ness or loss the way adults do. they sup­press their emo­tions and feel anger, con­fu­sion, de­pres­sion, guilt — and some­times re­lief (and then guilt about their re­lief ) when an ab­sent and/or trou­bled par­ent is out of their life for­ever.

you step­son also has to deal with a mother who is griev­ing, weep­ing and feel­ing vic­tim­ized and aban­doned — and a step­fa­ther who has de­cided to be judg­men­tal and jealous.

i sug­gest you keep your eye on the ball and pay very close at­ten­tion to this teenager. He needs to feel sup­ported by the two adults in his life. right now, he seems to have no one.

Dear Amy:

i’m a young woman. “adam” was re­cently hired where i work, and my gen­eral man­ager told me to train him.

im­me­di­ately there was a no­tice­able ten­sion be­tween us. adam be­came ex­tremely hos­tile af­ter i cor­rected an ac­tion of his. He be­gan to make deroga­tory state­ments to me and about me.

i walked away and pulled my man­ager to the side. He told adam that his be­hav­iour was ex­tremely in­ap­pro­pri­ate. adam was still rude. the next time i worked with him, he made state­ments re­gard­ing some of my co­work­ers and me.

the en­vi­ron­ment at work has quickly de­te­ri­o­rated.

i am mov­ing and leav­ing this job in a few weeks, but should i still sit down with my man­ager and tell him what is go­ing on and how i feel about it? — put-doWn em­ployee

yes, have this talk. do not drop the ball, just be­cause you are leav­ing. doc­u­ment these in­ci­dents in­volv­ing “adam” and in­form your man­ager. one per­son with bad chem­istry or bad be­hav­iour can quickly poi­son the en­tire work en­vi­ron­ment. Warn­ing the man­ager about this em­ployee would be your part­ing gift.

Dear Em­ployee: Dear Amy:

my hus­band

— my best friend of 30 years — has ter­mi­nal can­cer.

my sis­ter says i’ve al­ready be­gun the griev­ing process.

are there things i can do to pre­pare my­self for a loss of this mag­ni­tude? i feel emo­tion­ally ex­hausted by the loom­ing fear. — al­ready griev­ing

i’m so sorry you are go­ing through this.

my own experience with grief was that, like your sis­ter, i thought i could “pre-grieve” be­fore my own loss was com­plete.

i was wrong. grief hits ev­ery­one dif­fer­ently; it en­velops some people in rolling waves, while oth­ers walk the path in more pre­dictable ways.

my main sug­ges­tion is that you de­lib­er­ately shelve your grief for later, and do your very best to live noW. as your hus­band ex­pe­ri­ences his ill­ness, you should look — and trea­sure — tiny mo­ments of to­geth­er­ness. Write love let­ters to one an­other. look at photo al­bums. lis­ten to the pop hits of your youth. Walk to­ward this un­cer­tain hori­zon to­gether, hand in hand, even if you are strolling in the hos­pi­tal ward, pulling an iv pole along­side you.

re­gret am­pli­fies grief. don’t add this bur­den to your loss. live and love now. grieve later.

Dear Griev­ing:

GeTTy im­aGes

Model walks at Open­ing Cer­e­mony Run­way Septem­ber 2018 at New York Fash­ion Week in New York City.

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