For the record... it’s never okay
taking nothing away from anyone’s skill, talent and dominance in their chosen profession and recognizing the greatness of any accomplishments, i, as a mother who has faced life-threatening issues and a woman who doesn’t feel everything i disagree with is an ism - sexism, racism, ageism, poorism - i do not want nor need anyone speaking for me or fighting my battles.
For a self-proclaimed messiah to say everything they do is for us, for women’s rights, for equality, for mothers and women everywhere is disingenuous. they do not speak for me or many of us, by having a meltdown, a fit of temper and name calling. there may be much going on in someone’s mind during an outburst but i don’t think for one minute when it happens they are thinking of me or you. throwing a tantrum and claiming victimization does not advance women’s issues or promote equality.
Furthermore, using difficulties or background as a reason for immature conduct provides excuses to anyone who refuses to accept responsibility for their own erratic or irrational behaviour.
if you see an imbalance, unfair or inequitable treatment, of course, you must stand up and speak out, loud and often, with dignity and control, to compel change. this is how you empower and inspire women.
berating others for doing their job is just unconscionable. rules, regulations, standards, etc. are not in place for everyone except the celebrated or to be disregarded because of timing. and because others got away with breaking the rules is never justification for you to do the same.
i am acutely aware all those ‘isms’ exist and will flourish if not aggressively confronted. i am also very aware some are deeply embedded into the psyche of many people and may never be eradicated. i also am aware we all need to be vocal, active and brave enough to stand up against all forms of abuse, subtle or obvious, at all times.
you cannot appropriate change if you are part of or contributing to abuse and exploitation by saying or doing nothing. anything that is said or done that causes pain, humiliation and harm to another is never oK, even if done as a joke.
For the record i qualify for three of the four isms i mention in this column, i think i am entitled to an opinion.
to keep the old grey matter working here’s a couple more new words for you to digest.
· pugnacity - a natural disposition to be aggressive or belligerent. and one of Chris Cuomo’s favourites: · Fougasse - a land mine in which the charge is overlaid by stones and other missiles so placed as to be hurled in the desired direction.
it is also a French bread made with olive oil, but i don’t think that’s what he meant.