| Ur­ban Di­plo­mat Ad­vice on how to be a civ­i­lized Toron­to­nian

Toronto Life - - News - —Girls Next Door, Riverdale

My wife and I are gay, and we re­cently moved into a house in the east end. Our neigh­bour won’t stop go­ing out of her way to prove she’s LGBT-friendly. When­ever we run into her, she (loudly) points out how cute we are to­gether and ram­bles on about how happy she is to see more “di­verse life­styles” in the neigh­bour­hood. I ap­pre­ci­ate her at­tempt to make us feel wel­come, but all the ex­tra at­ten­tion is hav­ing the op­po­site ef­fect. How can we po­litely tell her to cool it?

Your neigh­bour’s pro-gay zeal will likely di­min­ish over time. How­ever, if you run out of pa­tience, try this: the next time she starts bab­bling about how much you two re­mind her of Alex and Piper from Or­ange Is the New Black, first thank her for her ef­forts to make you feel com­fort­able, then let her know that too much at­ten­tion makes you feel sin­gled out. If she’s re­ally as wellinten­tioned as she thinks, she’ll re­al­ize that some­times, the best way to con­vey ac­cep­tance is through si­lence.

Dear Ur­ban Di­plo­mat, Once a month, my col­leagues and I at­tend an evening sales meet­ing where din­ner is pro­vided by the com­pany. There’s al­ways more than enough to eat, and the left­overs are usu­ally stored in the staff fridge for us to en­joy the next day. But lately, the vice-pres­i­dent has been tak­ing the ex­tra food home for him­self—one time he even brought out Tup­per­ware be­fore we started eat­ing! We’re all an­noyed by it, since he makes sig­nif­i­cantly more money than we do. Is it worth con­fronting him, or should we let it go?

—Young and Hun­gry, The Dan­forth

If you have a chummy re­la­tion­ship with your freeload­ing VP, you could al­ways make a joke about his food hoard­ing at your next meet­ing. But be­fore you fling your­self into a po­ten­tially awk­ward sit­u­a­tion, re­mem­ber that it is just a monthly take­out meal. Sure, your boss

can af­ford his own Foodora, but is day­old pizza re­ally worth the of­fice ten­sion?

Dear Ur­ban Di­plo­mat, Last week, I backed into a parked car in the York­dale lot and left a small dent. I took a pic­ture of the li­cence plate with my phone and ran in­side to find a pen and pa­per so I could leave a note, but when I came back, the car was gone. At first, I was re­lieved, but now the guilt is weigh­ing on me. I want to re­port the in­ci­dent to clear my con­science, but will I get in le­gal trou­ble if I do?

—Hit and Run, Duf­ferin Grove

If the ding is as small as you say it is, you might not be legally re­quired to fess up to the fuzz, since com­bined dam­age less than $2,000 doesn’t need to be re­ported. But there’s a catch: you are legally re­quired to ex­change in­sur­ance info with a driver when­ever two cars col­lide, Grand Theft Auto–style crime or not. If you de­cide to take the “bet­ter late than never” ap­proach and lis­ten to your con­science, you can still make a for­mal re­port at any col­li­sion cen­tre. Whether or not you’ll get in trou­ble de­pends on how for­giv­ing the car’s owner was feel­ing that day—if they made a com­plaint and you waited more than 48 hours to come clean, you could be charged for fail­ing to re­port the ac­ci­dent.

Send your ques­tions to the Ur­ban Di­plo­mat at ur­bandiplo­mat@toron­to­life.com

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