PASSING ALONG MORE THAN SAVINGS
Donated wedding dresses resold to raise money for cancer causes
Lindy Hudson, left, and Shirley Erhart browse the selection of gowns offered by the Brides Project. Many of the dresses come with notes penned by previous owners containing personal stories about how cancer has touched their lives.
Tucked between the satin folds of a wedding dress hangs a letter from the bride who last wore the gown to the bride-to-be who will buy it. The messages have become something of a tradition over ten years at the Brides’ Project, where donated wedding dresses are sold at steep markdowns and profits are donated to cancer charities. Not every bride here has a personal connection to the disease, but they often do and write about it in their notes, while wishing the next bride luck on their big day. “My dress had two notes in it,” said Alex Lee, 29. “Both girls had been affected by cancer and I just cried when I read them.” Lee was rushing in to re-donate the dress she bought for her wedding in February 2013, having procrastinated until now because she wanted to add another meaningful note. When a relative was diagnosed with cancer this year, Lee thought back to the other brides who wore her dress and decided it was time to pass the gown on again. “It’s about women coming together and feeling like you’re part of something,” she said. Inside the creaking old house on Broadview Ave. is a Willy Wonka’s factory of bridal wear. Each room brims with bustles and lace. There are racks upon racks of satin, silk and organza. Crinoline fills the bathtub and veils hang in the shower. More than 500 gowns are available at any one time, organized into separate rooms by size. Women are invited to help themselves and try anything on.
“It’s not just a garment, it’s all the hopes and dreams that come with the wedding day, and people want to share that,” said the project’s founder, Helen Sweet.
Couples are getting smarter when it comes to wedding costs, Sweet said. Not only are they getting married later, they’re paying for their own weddings and would rather save for a down payment than a big ceremony.
“We don’t wear our mother’s wedding dress anymore. That tradition is gone,” she said.
“Here we’re trying to make a new tradition, passing the dresses on in a more timely fashion.”
The project prefers dresses that are five years old or less — they’re the only ones that sell.
“Take a look at the dresses from 30 years ago — would you wear that?” Sweet asked.
Gowns are sold for 50 per cent of their original cost and all prices are capped at $1,250.
The formula has proven to be a success and Sweet estimates that she’s sold about 2,500 dresses over the last decade. By the end of the year, she figures she’ll have donated half a million dollars to cancer charities ranging from Camp Quality, for children with cancer, to Gilda’s Club, which provides emotional support to families, to plain old medical science.
Old dresses are relegated to the basement, where they wait to be shipped out to theatres, drama programs for kids and even designers who cut up and remake them into something new.
“We find homes for each dress,” Sweet said. “We want people to know there’s one thing that won’t happen: they’ll never be thrown away.”
Sweet started the project while preparing for her second wedding. She didn’t want to spend too much and she wanted to honour a childhood friend who died of cancer.
“There’s so much excess with weddings. There had to be a way to make a lasting contribution to the community that isn’t so self-indulgent,” she said. “My dress ended up going to a 14-year-old girl after she finished chemo along with a tiara and feather boa.”
At appointment time on a recent Wednesday evening, three brides-tobe arrive with their entourages: mothers, sisters and best friends. There’s a quick orientation in the front room before they’re let loose in the house, thumping up and down the wooden staircase, loaded down with lace and sequins. “You need to get a dress anyway, so why not a dress that gives back?” said Caroline Habib, 34, as she sat in the tiled bathroom in an elegant strapless gown. The dress fits perfectly and she doesn’t think she’ll need to have any alterations done. “Someone is walking around with the exact same body as me,” she laughed. While her fiancé has not been al- lowed to see the dress, Habib told him about the Brides’ Project and he was enthusiastic.
“He thinks it’s awesome, both for the price and for the cause — it’s a win-win.”
Longtime volunteer Tori Whyte also admitted to being attracted to both sides of the equation. She loves “being part of the feminine ritual” as much as she’s got a deeper emotional attachment to the project.
When Whyte donated her wedding dress, she left a very personal note about how her mom’s death from cancer affected her.
“I wrote it as if the person was in the same situation,” she said.
About a year later, Whyte got an email from the woman who bought the dress, explaining how her grandmother had also passed away from cancer and she purchased Whyte’s dress on the anniversary of the death.
“I never cried so much after receiving an email,” Whyte said.
The Brides’ Project is more than a charity wedding boutique; it brings together both weddings and funerals, joy and sorrow, marking the cycles of life.