Some­times true love is worth a few years’ wait

The So­cial’s Cyn­thia Loyst on how she fell for her hus­band af­ter he up­graded his fa­cial hair

Village Post - - Currents -

Cyn­thia Loyst, co-host on CTV’s

The So­cial and founder of FindYourPlea­sure.com, knew her hus­band Ja­son for years be­fore they ever spoke a word to each other. Now af­ter 19 years to­gether, it sure seems it was worth the wait for that first con­ver­sa­tion. Here, Loyst tells us how it all went down.

How they met

We met in stages. We both went to York Uni­ver­sity and were in the film and video depart­ment. I re­mem­ber see­ing him for the first time with his long, dark, flow­ing hair; side­burns with a strap of hair across his chin; and his Fish­bone T-shirt and think­ing: “Hmm, that guy is so cute, ex­cept I don’t un­der­stand that fa­cial hair.”

For years we or­bited around the same peo­ple and places but never re­ally spoke. Years later, af­ter grad­u­a­tion, I was hired by a mu­tual friend to belly dance in a mu­sic video, and Ja­son was hired as the di­rec­tor of pho­tog­ra­phy. I no­ticed him again and felt he had im­proved on his fa­cial hair, but we still didn’t speak.

We even­tu­ally ended up at the same party, and fi­nally he came up and chat­ted with me, and I gave him my num­ber.

The first date

Our very first date was at In­som­nia at Bloor and Bathurst streets. At that time, I lived down the street from there, so I was ba­si­cally a reg­u­lar at the restau­rant and asked him to meet me there.

We sat at the bar. I still re­mem­ber the soft, grey sweater he was wear­ing and how good he smelled. I had been sin­gle for a while and had ex­pe­ri­enced some less-than-stel­lar dates, so I had de­vel­oped a list of finely tuned ques­tions that could help me weed out the duds quickly. By the end of the date, he had sailed through my ques­tions with fly­ing colours.

Mem­o­rable mo­ments

I had this wooden sculp­ture in my room that I had spent hours carv­ing. Most guys I had dated had hardly ever no­ticed it, or worse, they threw their coats or put ash­trays on top of it. One of the first times Ja­son came to my apart­ment, I found him cu­ri­ously trac­ing the en­tire thing with his hand, ask­ing me ques­tions about how I made it, what it meant to me and so on. I think I fell in love with him at that ex­act mo­ment.

The pro­posal

It was near Valen­tine’s Day. I had just fin­ished work, and he in­vited me out for din­ner in the Dis­tillery, which was and is one of our favourite places in the city. We had re­cently bought our house, and things had been a lit­tle tense in our re­la­tion­ship at that time, so I wasn’t re­ally think­ing any­thing about this date. I went to the bath­room and came back to find a tiny box on the ta­ble, and then I knew. So I said, “I’ve been so aw­ful lately, are you sure you want to do this?” Thank­fully, he did.

The wed­ding

We got mar­ried where he pro­posed — at the time it was a beau­ti­ful restau­rant called the Boiler House. It has since changed to a Mex­i­can place called El Ca­trin. I have heard great things about it but haven’t brought my­self to check it out, yet, be­cause I’m still kind of heart­bro­ken that it’s not the same place.

The off­spring

We have one son, named Jaya, and he is five years old.

Bal­anc­ing ca­reers and mar­riage

It’s hard. I think we have the ben­e­fit of work­ing in sim­i­lar in­dus­tries (tele­vi­sion and film), so we know how crazy the hours can be. And also, we have been to­gether for al­most 19 years now, so we know each other very well and can tell when the other is start­ing to fray.

Se­cret to suc­cess

We give each other lots of space and room to be in­di­vid­u­als. I re­ally value that. We also have had and con­tinue to have some hard con­ver­sa­tions at times. Fi­nally, hav­ing a ther­a­pist to check in with (ei­ther in­di­vid­u­ally or as a cou­ple) ev­ery once in a while is in­cred­i­bly im­por­tant, I think, for any cou­ple.

Life af­ter re­tire­ment

Read­ing, writ­ing and eat­ing on a beach for me. Although I’m not op­posed to Ja­son’s vi­sion of an olive grove in Spain.

That guy is so cute, ex­cept I don’t un­der­stand that fa­cial hair.”

Cyn­thia and Ja­son have been to­gether for al­most 19 years

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