Lose your phone? At least you’re not going to prison (I assume)
If your smartphone is stressing you out, don’t be stressed about being stressed out. You are not alone.
According to news reports, a new study in Great Britain shows that the prospect of losing a smartphone is as scary as a terror threat and more stressful than moving. That little rectangle in your pocket, purse or, ugh, your belt holster — Greg! I’m talking to you, Greg! — is a huge burden on our minds.
The news reports cited a study by The Psychological Society, which is either a completely made up name or is the most brilliantly simple and direct name in history. If only all businesses and organizations were so straightforward, we would no longer be eating lunch at places like Mélange or Illusions. We would be eating lunch at places like The Lunch Place or The Restaurant (now serving lunch).
In fact, those names are so ambiguous you didn’t know they aren’t restaurants at all. They’re salons. And I stand by my argument. We wouldn’t be getting our hair cut at places like Mélange or Illusions, either. We’d be going to The Place That Cuts Hair or The Hair Cut Place — take your pick. They’re both excellent.
But back to The Psychological Society, which I am confident is completely legit and if it isn’t, well, it’s too late to start a new column now. The society says we have much to fear — money problems, new jobs, no new jobs, planning a wedding, planning a divorce and imprisonment all rank high.
Imprisonment? In a random survey of 2,000 Brits, “imprisonment” was listed as among the top sources of stress? What kinds of lives are these people living when the voice inside their head is saying, “Don’t forget to pick up milk. Is it almost time for an oil change? I hope the liquor store I robbed doesn’t have a security camera.”
I do believe in the stress caused by cellphones, though. I’ve read different reports saying the average person checks his or her phone about 200 times per day. I check mine 200 times while standing in line at Coco’s which, as you know, is a takeout. No, it’s not, it’s a dog groomer!
I have my phone sitting beside me right now. Every time it rings or beeps I ignore it. I’m busy writing. I don’t have time to deal with it right now. I should just turn it off and put it away. But what if I miss something important? There could be an emergency. Or someone might like the poached egg photo I put on Instagram this morning.
I saw my work-issued smartphone in a store the other day and it did get my attention. To go and buy one off the shelf would cost around $800. I carry this thing in my back pocket and it’s worth more than any appliance in my home. And I’m one of the lucky ones who gets a phone through work. Everyone else in my family has to purchase phones and, we’ve learned, breaking them is expensive. No wonder we’re stressed.
My daughter has a cellphone and, after a few years of teenager use, the screen was cracked badly. She worked around it but finally it died and she had to replace it. Of course, she got the phone for zero dollars on one of those magic plans that allow people to walk around using these delicate pieces of expensive equipment without actually paying for them upfront so, when it broke, she had to pay for it before she could get a new phone for zero dollars.
It had to be done. Then, two days later, she slipped on the ice and landed on the new phone. It cracked. But we’re telling ourselves it’s fine. It’s just a phone.