Late Night Laughs
“Russia was banned from the Olympics. But Russia doesn’t mind — they said they’ll just invade some other teams.
“A spokeswoman for Roy Moore has defended him, saying there are plenty of women in Alabama that he didn’t sexually abuse. She said, ‘We prefer to look at the glass as ‘half-un-groped.’
“Russia has been banned from the Winter Olympics. But don’t feel bad, Russia — even though you won’t win any gold medals, you did win the U.S. presidential election.”
“Olympic officials first got suspicious that Russians were using performance-enhancing drugs when the Russians set a new speed record for skiing UP the mountain.”
“An Italian winery is releasing five limited-edition bottles of Hello Kitty-themed wine for the holiday season. It’s the perfect gift for your alcoholic niece.
“According to a new poll, 71 per cent of American men believe they face pressure to act interested in sports. ‘Not us!’ said the New York Giants.
“Tonight is Krampus Night. So, if you see someone crawling in through your window and terrorizing your kids, that’s Roy Moore.”