Mothers juggle parenting and their active lifestyles
This time last year, Jaime Sochasky-Livingston set an ambitious goal to compete in a 102-kilometre cycling road race. An athletic therapist, it was Sochasky-Livingston’s first attempt at training for an endurance event. The mother of a nineyear-old, she was suddenly confronted with a dilemma all active moms face: juggling an intense training schedule with an already busy lifestyle that includes work and family commitments.
“I knew it was going to be a difficult athletic challenge,” she said, “but I didn’t think about the other personal challenges that come with it.”
A lot has been said about the difficulties of juggling the demands of motherhood and a career, but little on the additional stress mothers like Sochasky-Livingston feel when they toss yet another ball in the air. Unlike elite athletes, for whom training is akin to a full-time job, most women who pursue challenging athletic goals after starting a family struggle to do it all — work, kids, household chores, a social life.
Keeping in mind that raising children is often referred to as the most important job in the world and is still viewed as primarily the responsibility of the mother, support for women who devote several hours a week to training can be lacking. Despite claims that regular exercise and the pursuit of fitness goals can result in more patience, contentment and energy — some of a mother’s best assets — the motives are often perceived as self-serving, and there is frequently judgment and guilt. So how do women like Sochasky-Livingston do it all? In an attempt to learn more about how to navigate the rocky road of parenthood while training and racing at a competitive level, researchers from Laurentian University in Sudbury, Ont., and the University of Tasmania in Australia interviewed seven active moms, looking at “how they navigate psychological, social and cultural barriers that often constrain activity.”
The researchers detailed three strategies that “highlight the nuanced ways in which juggling motherhood and sport (can be) constraining and emancipative for recreational competitive athlete mothers.”
ADJUSTMENT OF TRAINING AND COMPETITION
Planning and the willingness to modify plans is key to balancing motherhood with a comprehensive training schedule. It’s also important to accept that there will be days when workouts get shelved in favour of family responsibilities, so it might take a bit longer to prepare for a competition as compared to someone who can fully commit to their weekly training schedule. Sochasky-Livingston tried doing most of her training rides in the early morning, making it back home before her daughter was out of bed. Prioritizing family time when possible minimizes the stress and guilt active mothers can feel during long hours of training.The same goes for scheduling competitions. Registering for events that require little in the way of travel time and tacking on a family vacation after a competition keeps the family happy. Training for shorter events — for instance, half marathons versus marathons — can also help, reducing preparation time.
MULTI-FACETED AND NEGOTIATED SUPPORT
Active moms need help, both in terms of child care and emotional support, to manage the demands of sport, work and motherhood. Spouses should be considered partners in raising the kids and doing household chores, and cheerleaders when it comes to the realization of athletic goals. This demands ongoing conversations and compromises to ensure that neither spouse is overburdened. Family and friends are also good resources, and many athletic women create a network of peers who are willing to reciprocate child-care responsibilities when necessary. It’s also possible to share babysitting and train together, which adds an often neglected social component to the lifestyle of an active mom. Sochasky-Livingston recruited several friends to compete in the same road race — not only to provide company during long training sessions, but to offer motivation and emotional support.
RECIPROCITY OF MOTHERHOOD AND SPORT
Key to reducing the stress related to doing it all is the realization that motherhood can actually enhance training and competitive success. Something life-changing, like having a family, can provide the impetus to modify training schedules so that they are more economical and enjoyable. Many women remark on a change of attitude that comes with motherhood, viewing training not as a chore but as valuable “me time.” They revel in the quiet and personal space that’s so rare in the lives of those who juggle work and family commitments.
The active moms interviewed by the research team remarked that “sport not only made them better and more focused athletes, but enhanced their roles as good mothers.”