Garage-sale karma will come crashing down
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I recently went garage-sale shopping and ended up at three sales in a row where the same ignorant glass collector showed up with her loud-mouthed girlfriend. We had identical tastes in garagesale treasures and ended up in a war of words by the second sale. I won! But after I took the glass item to my car, which had the windows down, I went back to get my second bag of stuff and thankfully I turned around just in time to see the loudmouth girlfriend lift the item out of my car window.
I yelled, “Put that back or I’ll call the cops.” She fired it back in the car and it crashed and broke. I really wanted to get in her face, but my husband said, “For 14 bucks, just let it go.” I know her plate number and can’t stand letting her get away with this. What should I do? — Garage Sale Warrior, River Heights
Dear Warrior: Police don’t have time for garage-sale wars, but never fear. Garage-sale karma comes quickly when you have the same tastes and shop in the same neighbourhoods. You will run into this nasty duo again before season’s end. Then you can point your finger and say loudly in front of everyone, “You’re the woman who tried to steal something out of my car at a garage sale!” Hopefully, you’ll see the loudmouth hustle out to her car while everybody else gapes. Either that, or she’ll call you a liar and the fight is on. Remember to keep it verbal.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I recently went on a date with a large man. To be blunt, he was tall and fat. I was OK with that because my dad had the same build, and I kind of like a mountain man. Unfortunately, he took me out to a new restaurant in the city and was so fascinated with the menu he almost forgot I was there. Money was no object for him, so he ordered two entrées with all the trimmings and I ordered a fancy salad. After he wolfed down the two meals, I still had some salad left, and he asked, “Are you going to eat that?” I just pushed it over toward him in disgust and said, “Have at it!” Then he ordered himself dessert, coffee and a liqueur.
I told the waiter I would like some white wine during dinner, but my date said, “No, no we’ll have a liqueur later.” I got nothing but my food and a glass of ice water on the table. Then I asked to go home. This guy had more conversation with the waiter than he had with me. When we got to my house, he asked if I would like to have brunch with him on Sunday. I glared at him and said, “You’ve got to be kidding!” and got out of the car. That jerk keeps calling and I keep brushing him off. What should I do? — Disgusted With Mr. Pig, St. Boniface
Dear Disgusted: Tell this guy the truth. Let him know it was disgusting to watch him eat two whole dinners, ask for more from your plate, top it with dessert and liqueurs and not even order the wine you had requested. Ask him what he learned about you on this first date when he didn’t even ask any questions. Tell him you’re looking for a friend and love partner, not an eating buddy. That’s what his male friends are for — he can pig out with them to his heart’s delight.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is planning a big 25th anniversary party for us, but she doesn’t know I’m planning to leave her in the next few months. I don’t want her to spend all this money of ours when we’re going to be separated soon after. She has always loved throwing parties and I hate to deny her this last pleasure, but it seems like a waste of time and it will be extra embarrassing when she looks back on it.
I don’t have a new woman yet, but I am sick of being in this sexless sham of a marriage I can’t wait to find one. Don’t suggest counselling as we have been done for years, ever since I caught her having an affair. After that, I couldn’t get aroused by her, but I can get plenty aroused by other women. I can’t wait to leave, but have to make it through a few more months for reasons I won’t explain here. This marriage is a fake that needs to be over without a party. — Sickened By Her Party Plans, Winnipeg
Dear Sickened: You want permission to wait for the months it takes to shift your money or whatever it is you’re doing? You won’t get it from me. Tell your wife the truth: you don’t want to participate in a 25th anniversary party because the marriage is in bad shape and it would be false to celebrate it that way. And tell her you are leaving — she deserves to know this marriage is near the end. It will be upsetting enough to break up without having to shock her after a big bash. Pretending to give her this one last party as some sort of “favour” would be too cruel.
As for counselling, it’s a good way to end things on a less bitter note and remain civil for any kids or grandchildren you may have.