Take another walk down your street and return his kiss
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m an older lady and have been told I am quite pretty. I love walking in the sun or the rain and I sometimes go out for a walk down my street with my red umbrella. This handsome older man is always out in his yard, rain or shine, and waves and smiles. The other day he stopped me to talk about my red umbrella and how much he likes seeing it. Then he invited me into his house. We had a cup of tea and some doughnuts. He told me his wife had died and he missed her, then kissed me on the cheek and told me I’d better go before he chased me around the coffee table, so I left.
What was that all about? I liked it when he kissed me and would have gone for more. What should I do now? — Kiss Me Again Please! North Kildonan
Dear Kiss Me Again: Show him he made a mistake, pretty lady! He was telling you he wanted more, but he was afraid you didn’t and was warning you off. So surprise him! Keep walking past his house being friendly, then ask him about something in his yard and surprise him with a kiss after he shows you. Then invite yourself in for tea. Good luck with this little project. Write back and tell us how it goes with the budding romance.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ate too fast on a second date and then had to throw up. I found a garbage can and she watched me in horror. She faked sympathy until we got to her house and when I asked if I could see her again she said, “No. I don’t think so. That ship has sailed.” Then she bolted for the door of her house. If she had thrown up, I would have looked past it. I would have understood we wouldn’t kiss that night, but not reject her completely. I’m a bigger person than that. — Shocked by Cold Reaction, Garden City
Dear Shocked: There isn’t much investment or “money in the bank” when you’re on a second date — there are not many good memories to fall back on. You can easily blow it with little things in the first little while. Throwing up in a garbage can was enough to turn her off. You’ll have to let this go and not assign too much blame to your date. Vomiting doesn’t go well with infatuation, where the object of one’s affections is idealized. Try to see the humour in this. It will make a good joke to tell your male buddies about your dating prowess.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have been in a long-term relationship for about 10 years. I keep counting our first date as our anniversary date, but my boyfriend doesn’t totally agree with me. I have been super-excited about our 10-year anniversary coming up, but in his mind it’s not an anniversary because we aren’t married. We usually go out for dinner and a movie, but since it’s 10 years I thought we could celebrate with something a little bigger, but he wants to do the same thing.
Shouldn’t 10 years be celebrated by doing something big? I’m so excited I want the whole world to know. Do you really need to be married to have an anniversary? — Celebrating Alone, Winnipeg
Dear Celebrating Alone: Ten years together is big in this modern world, whether you are in a common-law relationship or formally married. It seems your common-law husband is a bit of spoilsport, and he may also be embarrassed to “tell the whole world,” because he’s never given you a wedding ring. Wouldn’t it be a nice time to go away somewhere romantic for a mini-holiday, such as Montreal, for instance? Even crazy Las Vegas, which is not too expensive and lots of fun. There are lots of wedding chapels there, too, just sayin’. Why not after 10 years?
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: In reply to Big Mouth, who wondered if she erred by being honest about a friend’s new hair colour, I thought your advice focused more on avoiding the fight than on the behaviour of the friend. I want to say that people who create “mine fields” by asking for feedback they don’t really want should be called out on that behaviour. They aren’t acting like friends by hoping other people tell them their favourite lies and punishing honest feedback with sulky silence. — Not Buying It, Winnipeg
Dear Not Buying it: “Do these jeans make my butt look fat? Does this colour make me look washed-out? Are my lips too wide for my face?” These questions can be translated to, “Could you give me a reassuring pat?” Honesty is not so important there. Just pat, with love. You could say, “You always look great to me.” Now if the question is, “Should I buy this pea green sweater?” and it isn’t already a done deal, you might say, “I think you’d look better in a red one.” It’s not too late at that point for your friend to appreciate your input, and possibly choose something else.
Please send your questions and comments to firstname.lastname@example.org or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave.,
Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6