Take an­other walk down your street and re­turn his kiss

Winnipeg Free Press - Section E - - ARTS & LIFE -

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m an older lady and have been told I am quite pretty. I love walk­ing in the sun or the rain and I some­times go out for a walk down my street with my red um­brella. This hand­some older man is al­ways out in his yard, rain or shine, and waves and smiles. The other day he stopped me to talk about my red um­brella and how much he likes see­ing it. Then he in­vited me into his house. We had a cup of tea and some dough­nuts. He told me his wife had died and he missed her, then kissed me on the cheek and told me I’d bet­ter go be­fore he chased me around the cof­fee ta­ble, so I left.

What was that all about? I liked it when he kissed me and would have gone for more. What should I do now? — Kiss Me Again Please! North Kil­do­nan

Dear Kiss Me Again: Show him he made a mis­take, pretty lady! He was telling you he wanted more, but he was afraid you didn’t and was warn­ing you off. So sur­prise him! Keep walk­ing past his house be­ing friendly, then ask him about some­thing in his yard and sur­prise him with a kiss af­ter he shows you. Then in­vite your­self in for tea. Good luck with this lit­tle project. Write back and tell us how it goes with the bud­ding ro­mance.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ate too fast on a sec­ond date and then had to throw up. I found a garbage can and she watched me in hor­ror. She faked sym­pa­thy un­til we got to her house and when I asked if I could see her again she said, “No. I don’t think so. That ship has sailed.” Then she bolted for the door of her house. If she had thrown up, I would have looked past it. I would have un­der­stood we wouldn’t kiss that night, but not re­ject her com­pletely. I’m a big­ger per­son than that. — Shocked by Cold Re­ac­tion, Gar­den City

Dear Shocked: There isn’t much in­vest­ment or “money in the bank” when you’re on a sec­ond date — there are not many good mem­o­ries to fall back on. You can eas­ily blow it with lit­tle things in the first lit­tle while. Throw­ing up in a garbage can was enough to turn her off. You’ll have to let this go and not as­sign too much blame to your date. Vom­it­ing doesn’t go well with in­fat­u­a­tion, where the ob­ject of one’s af­fec­tions is ide­al­ized. Try to see the hu­mour in this. It will make a good joke to tell your male bud­dies about your dat­ing prow­ess.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have been in a long-term re­la­tion­ship for about 10 years. I keep count­ing our first date as our an­niver­sary date, but my boyfriend doesn’t to­tally agree with me. I have been su­per-ex­cited about our 10-year an­niver­sary com­ing up, but in his mind it’s not an an­niver­sary be­cause we aren’t mar­ried. We usu­ally go out for din­ner and a movie, but since it’s 10 years I thought we could cel­e­brate with some­thing a lit­tle big­ger, but he wants to do the same thing.

Shouldn’t 10 years be cel­e­brated by do­ing some­thing big? I’m so ex­cited I want the whole world to know. Do you re­ally need to be mar­ried to have an an­niver­sary? — Cel­e­brat­ing Alone, Win­nipeg

Dear Cel­e­brat­ing Alone: Ten years to­gether is big in this mod­ern world, whether you are in a com­mon-law re­la­tion­ship or for­mally mar­ried. It seems your com­mon-law hus­band is a bit of spoilsport, and he may also be em­bar­rassed to “tell the whole world,” be­cause he’s never given you a wed­ding ring. Wouldn’t it be a nice time to go away some­where ro­man­tic for a mini-hol­i­day, such as Mon­treal, for in­stance? Even crazy Las Ve­gas, which is not too ex­pen­sive and lots of fun. There are lots of wed­ding chapels there, too, just sayin’. Why not af­ter 10 years?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: In re­ply to Big Mouth, who won­dered if she erred by be­ing hon­est about a friend’s new hair colour, I thought your ad­vice fo­cused more on avoid­ing the fight than on the be­hav­iour of the friend. I want to say that peo­ple who cre­ate “mine fields” by ask­ing for feed­back they don’t re­ally want should be called out on that be­hav­iour. They aren’t act­ing like friends by hop­ing other peo­ple tell them their favourite lies and pun­ish­ing hon­est feed­back with sulky si­lence. — Not Buy­ing It, Win­nipeg

Dear Not Buy­ing it: “Do th­ese jeans make my butt look fat? Does this colour make me look washed-out? Are my lips too wide for my face?” Th­ese ques­tions can be trans­lated to, “Could you give me a re­as­sur­ing pat?” Hon­esty is not so im­por­tant there. Just pat, with love. You could say, “You al­ways look great to me.” Now if the ques­tion is, “Should I buy this pea green sweater?” and it isn’t al­ready a done deal, you might say, “I think you’d look bet­ter in a red one.” It’s not too late at that point for your friend to ap­pre­ci­ate your in­put, and pos­si­bly choose some­thing else.

Please send your ques­tions and com­ments to love­coach@hot­mail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Win­nipeg Free Press, 1355 Moun­tain Ave.,

Win­nipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

MAU­REEN SCUR­FIELD

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