Grown kids wait­ing for money that’s al­ready been spent

Winnipeg Free Press - Section E - - LIFE & ARTS -

DMISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m an older woman with a younger boyfriend. For the first four months we didn’t go out to­gether in pub­lic, but now we do. The snig­ger­ing stopped af­ter my guy met and talked with my friends and their hus­bands. My grown kids are a dif­fer­ent sit­u­a­tion. I have a fair amount of money and my 40-some­things don’t want it to go else­where when I die ex­cept their bank ac­counts. I’m not sick, but I’m not su­per-healthy ei­ther. Peo­ple in my fam­ily of­ten die well be­fore they’ve lost their minds.

The kids don’t re­al­ize I al­ready spent a lot of my money and there’s only my pen­sion and the house left. Should I tell them that? Why should I have to lower my­self to that? — Golden Girl With Great Boyfriend, River Heights

Dear Golden Girl: Don’t tell any­body any­thing. You could jok­ingly say, “My money’s al­most all gone, and when it’s fin­ished, I’m com­ing over to live at your houses. I might come sooner if you scare this lovely man away. Then you can look af­ter me.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just met this babe com­ing out of my work­place. We work at dif­fer­ent com­pa­nies on dif­fer­ent floors. I asked her out for lunch next week and she turned me down be­cause we work too close to­gether. How far away do we have to be? As a joke, I said, “That’s easy — I’ll quit my job!” and she said, “That’s funny. You’re a cute one, with a smart mouth,” and walked away.

Do you think she has a boyfriend? I’m the nicest guy she’ll ever meet. Just ask my ex-girl­friend who works in the same of­fice as I do. When we were dat­ing, we would have killed for this much dis­tance and pri­vacy. Now we’ve bro­ken up, but we’re still civil to each other. Like I said, I’m a nice guy, not a Ne­an­derthal. How do I con­vince this gor­geous new babe of that? — Must Be a Way, the Maples

Dear Must Be a Way: Un­less she’s see­ing some­one else, you’ll find a way. You’re funny, and women like funny! Just don’t hit on her ev­ery time you see her. It’s im­por­tant to give her enough space to won­der why you’re not at­tracted any­more, and then she may start mov­ing your way. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I felt an ur­gent need to write in re­gard­ing the woman who’s with a man’s man in Transcona. I have one thing to say to her: run as fast as you can be­cause it’s not go­ing to get any bet­ter!

I mar­ried a Transcona man who is ex­actly like her hus­band, and trust me when I say this: he loves his friends more than he loves her. It’s an ar­ro­gant, ram­pant, un­be­liev­ably weird dis­ease that most men in Transcona have. God for­bid they ever have chil­dren, be­cause she’ll be stuck at home with the baby while he is out par­ty­ing with his friends. I see this time and time again in the neigh­bour­hood. She needs to know that she needs to get her own life and stop be­ing such a frig­gin’ door­mat be­cause it ain’t gonna get any bet­ter! — Not a Door­mat Wife, Transcona

Dear Not a Door­mat: Transcona is not the prob­lem, as I get let­ters about women who live with a “man’s man” from all over. Th­ese men truly pre­fer the com­pany of their bud­dies, es­pe­cially once het­ero­sex­ual cou­ples start liv­ing to­gether, or get mar­ried. Some of them love their wives a lot, but the need to be with the guys is a “pack” thing for this type of man.

The wife, in his mind, is bet­ter suited to do­ing most of the house­work and most of the early child-rear­ing, even if she’s work­ing full time. The man whis­tles off to work, then heads out for drinks a couple of times a week and also to watch sports at the bar with the guys. Then there are the weightlift­ing dates, ice fish­ing, hockey, poker par­ties and, on oc­ca­sion, ap­pre­ci­at­ing the peel­ers who work so hard to en­ter­tain. That takes up a lot of time, don­cha know? It does leave time for 20 min­utes of sex af­ter the news, which oddly enough, the wives don’t seem to want. Un­grate­ful!

So how do th­ese ma­cho guys get girl­friends, live-in part­ners and wives so read­ily? Lots of them are fun-ori­ented, which is great when chas­ing women and dat­ing them. Ma­cho men are also phys­i­cal and sex­ual, and some of them, es­pe­cially if they work in blue-col­lar jobs, are fit, mus­cu­lar and hot-look­ing be­fore the beer belly ar­rives.

But if a woman wants to set­tle down and have a fam­ily and an at­ten­tive hus­band, she should avoid the man’s man, no mat­ter how good he looks com­ing out of the shower. Some­body needs to teach her that, but who? Her mom? And would she lis­ten any­way?

In­ter­est­ingly, th­ese guys are usu­ally quite happy to marry and make ba­bies (“Look what I pro­duced!”). They just don’t want the pesky work of the house and yard, di­a­per­ing or stay­ing at home to talk, talk, talk with the wife. Once the kids get old enough to start do­ing the things dad likes to do, the man’s man starts hav­ing fun with the kids, as kids are ad­ven­tur­ous, fun-lov­ing and silly, too. Then it’s mom who has to stop be­ing such a drag. So, Not a Door­mat Wife, are you still with your ma­cho man? How did you tame him, or is he still run­ning wild with his bud­dies? Please send your ques­tions and com­ments to love­coach@hot­mail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Win­nipeg Free Press, 1355 Moun­tain Ave., Win­nipeg,

MB, R2X 3B6

MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Canada

© PressReader. All rights reserved.