You would be a fool to send Caribbean ‘boyfriend’ money

Winnipeg Free Press - Section E - - ARTS & LIFE -

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: When I was on hol­i­days in the Caribbean ear­lier this month, I fell for a man who lives there. He cried when I left, and I mooned over him all the way home, and for days after­ward. He asked me to come back and I promised I would.

Then this week, we were talk­ing on the phone, and he said he spent so much money on clothes to please me when I was there, he was short for his rent and food.

All of a sud­den, I felt dirty, like I had been us­ing a hooker. I thought he was dif­fer­ent from the rest of the lo­cal guys on the beach. I knew he was poorer than I am, so I paid for all the restau­rant and drink bills for the weeks I was there and he stayed in my room at night. Should I send him one pay­ment of money and then say good­bye? If I was un­know­ingly us­ing a hooker, do I ac­tu­ally owe him money? Did he ex­pect a hand­ful of bills be­fore I left? I’m naive and don’t know how this works. Should I feel so guilty? — Feel­ing Like a Fool, River Heights

Dear Feel­ing Like a Fool: You paid a lot by buy­ing all the meals for two and keep­ing him in your fancy room. You didn’t make a deal with him for money, and you thought it was a hol­i­day ro­mance. Maybe it was a lit­tle bit of a ro­mance and the tears were kind of real, but it sounds like he was just a sub­tler type from the beach and this is his liv­ing. Didn’t you ask him why he didn’t go to work? Don’t re­gret what you didn’t know — that he’s a beach boy like the rest. Just don’t be a fool and wire him a pile of money now.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went on a date with a funny, won­der­ful woman I met on­line, and we had such a great time we ended up at my place. Af­ter we had an equally won­der­ful time be­tween the sheets, she said she had to get home.

I asked if she had an­i­mals to feed and she said, “Oh yes, one very big an­i­mal weigh­ing about 200 pounds.” I rolled out of bed, grabbed a towel and asked, in shock, “Are you mar­ried?” She said she was, but just for six days a week be­cause her and her hus­band have a pseudo open-mar­riage agree­ment where they have one night off. “I look for­ward to Satur­days when I can meet a gor­geous guy like you!” she said, then whacked me on the butt, and laughed her way out the door.

I don’t know what to make of this. I’m a good guy. I as­sumed she was sin­gle when I found her. She claims she’s sin­gle one night a week. I said to her: “You’re not sin­gle, you’re avail­able once a week. There’s a big dif­fer­ence.” She was 15 years older than me and I’m 24. Should I be mad or not? — Tricked, Os­borne Vil­lage

Dear Tricked: You might as well laugh. Yes, she pulled a trick on you and she knew it. She wasn’t go­ing to men­tion her hus­band un­til she got what she wanted from you, so you wouldn’t run away too quickly. Did you have a good time? Is there any chance you would have even wanted her to be your real girl­friend?

File this un­der “good times” and keep search­ing for a girl­friend. This was a bump in the road that didn’t hurt any­thing ex­cept your pride. Try to laugh it off, and here’s one time you don’t have to worry too much about shar­ing a story with your­self as the butt of the joke.

Just don’t men­tion her name. That much of a gen­tle­man you should al­ways be. Since this lady gets around, we can only hope you used the sin­gle per­son’s best friend — a good qual­ity con­dom.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I fell in love with a dog and took her home from the shel­ter. I live in a house with a nice yard. I hear she’s lonely when I’m away at work. I could af­ford to buy a se­cond dog, for com­pany for her. Should I do it? — New Dog Daddy, East Kil­do­nan

Dear New Dog Daddy: If the neigh­bours are the ones telling you your dog’s lonely, lis­ten up! It sounds like maybe you’re leav­ing her out­side all day in the freez­ing weather. That’s cruel treat­ment. You could lose the dog, and be in le­gal trou­ble.

If the neigh­bours can hear her bark­ing from in­side your house, that’s a less dif­fi­cult prob­lem. Start drop­ping home dur­ing your lunch break or pay­ing some­one in the neigh­bour­hood who dog-sits to come by when you’re at work to feed the dog, give her wa­ter and let her out to do her busi­ness. Your dog sit­ter could take her for a lit­tle walk too.

Dogs re­quire love, food, wa­ter, ex­er­cise and at­ten­tion. It’s like hav­ing furry kids. You have to be pre­pared to look af­ter them and pay for their needs.

Should you get a se­cond dog? See how it works out with one first, treat­ing her with all the care and at­ten­tion you can. Please send your ques­tions and com­ments to love­coach@hot­mail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Win­nipeg Free Press, 1355 Moun­tain Ave., Win­nipeg,

MB, R2X 3B6

MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

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