You would be a fool to send Caribbean ‘boyfriend’ money
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: When I was on holidays in the Caribbean earlier this month, I fell for a man who lives there. He cried when I left, and I mooned over him all the way home, and for days afterward. He asked me to come back and I promised I would.
Then this week, we were talking on the phone, and he said he spent so much money on clothes to please me when I was there, he was short for his rent and food.
All of a sudden, I felt dirty, like I had been using a hooker. I thought he was different from the rest of the local guys on the beach. I knew he was poorer than I am, so I paid for all the restaurant and drink bills for the weeks I was there and he stayed in my room at night. Should I send him one payment of money and then say goodbye? If I was unknowingly using a hooker, do I actually owe him money? Did he expect a handful of bills before I left? I’m naive and don’t know how this works. Should I feel so guilty? — Feeling Like a Fool, River Heights
Dear Feeling Like a Fool: You paid a lot by buying all the meals for two and keeping him in your fancy room. You didn’t make a deal with him for money, and you thought it was a holiday romance. Maybe it was a little bit of a romance and the tears were kind of real, but it sounds like he was just a subtler type from the beach and this is his living. Didn’t you ask him why he didn’t go to work? Don’t regret what you didn’t know — that he’s a beach boy like the rest. Just don’t be a fool and wire him a pile of money now.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went on a date with a funny, wonderful woman I met online, and we had such a great time we ended up at my place. After we had an equally wonderful time between the sheets, she said she had to get home.
I asked if she had animals to feed and she said, “Oh yes, one very big animal weighing about 200 pounds.” I rolled out of bed, grabbed a towel and asked, in shock, “Are you married?” She said she was, but just for six days a week because her and her husband have a pseudo open-marriage agreement where they have one night off. “I look forward to Saturdays when I can meet a gorgeous guy like you!” she said, then whacked me on the butt, and laughed her way out the door.
I don’t know what to make of this. I’m a good guy. I assumed she was single when I found her. She claims she’s single one night a week. I said to her: “You’re not single, you’re available once a week. There’s a big difference.” She was 15 years older than me and I’m 24. Should I be mad or not? — Tricked, Osborne Village
Dear Tricked: You might as well laugh. Yes, she pulled a trick on you and she knew it. She wasn’t going to mention her husband until she got what she wanted from you, so you wouldn’t run away too quickly. Did you have a good time? Is there any chance you would have even wanted her to be your real girlfriend?
File this under “good times” and keep searching for a girlfriend. This was a bump in the road that didn’t hurt anything except your pride. Try to laugh it off, and here’s one time you don’t have to worry too much about sharing a story with yourself as the butt of the joke.
Just don’t mention her name. That much of a gentleman you should always be. Since this lady gets around, we can only hope you used the single person’s best friend — a good quality condom.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I fell in love with a dog and took her home from the shelter. I live in a house with a nice yard. I hear she’s lonely when I’m away at work. I could afford to buy a second dog, for company for her. Should I do it? — New Dog Daddy, East Kildonan
Dear New Dog Daddy: If the neighbours are the ones telling you your dog’s lonely, listen up! It sounds like maybe you’re leaving her outside all day in the freezing weather. That’s cruel treatment. You could lose the dog, and be in legal trouble.
If the neighbours can hear her barking from inside your house, that’s a less difficult problem. Start dropping home during your lunch break or paying someone in the neighbourhood who dog-sits to come by when you’re at work to feed the dog, give her water and let her out to do her business. Your dog sitter could take her for a little walk too.
Dogs require love, food, water, exercise and attention. It’s like having furry kids. You have to be prepared to look after them and pay for their needs.
Should you get a second dog? See how it works out with one first, treating her with all the care and attention you can. Please send your questions and comments to email@example.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg,
MB, R2X 3B6