Find your­self a rain-or-shine lake lover

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - ARTS & LIFE - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONE­LY­HEARTS: I went down to the lake with my new man and it was a bit rainy, so we had to stay in­doors. I was ex­pect­ing an af­ter­noon of sex, or even rum and boardgames, but in­stead he took out a briefcase he had snuck in, and pro­ceeded to work — for three whole hours. I was so mad I went out for a long walk and vis­ited some neigh­bours un­til it got dark. When I came back, he had the nerve to be an­gry with me. “Why did you go off and leave me?” he de­manded to know. I said, ”You were so rude you brought work here to the lake and ig­nored me when the sun went away. Are you here to be with me or to get some rays?” Things went from bad to worse and we slept on op­po­site sides of the bed that night. In the morn­ing he woke up and I was packing to go home to the city a day early. When he tried to make up with me, and I wasn’t into it, he took out more work and did it. We drove back in si­lence. Do you think there’s any hope for us? We get along OK in the city. — Lake Lover, River Heights

Dear Lake Lover: Peo­ple who are plugged in elec­tron­i­cally in the city and have a lot of “home­work” to do, get ner­vous when they see a win­dow of op­por­tu­nity to work. You don’t men­tion this guy’s job, but if he can go three hours at blast, he’s a busy guy. It’s not re­al­is­tic to ask him to give up work­ing al­to­gether at the lake but he could do it when you agree you’re go­ing out to visit neigh­bours, in­stead of just tak­ing off. And you can agree on times to work and how long — three hours is too much at a go, un­less the other one of you is sleep­ing. Some peo­ple with busy jobs get up early and work a few hours be­fore the other folks are up in the cabin, or work when the other per­son goes gro­cery shop­ping. You can also in­vite friends up to the lake and en­joy their com­pany, when your guy is work­ing. Be­ing to­gether 24/7 at the lake can feel like too much pres­sure. Hav­ing said that, no true lake per­son wants to get stuck for life with a to­tal townie who can’t chill at the cabin. You say you’re “OK” to­gether in the city. “OK” doesn’t re­ally cut it when you’re sin­gle and look­ing for love and ro­mance. How about us­ing this sum­mer to find a rainor-shine lake lover like you.

Dear Miss Lone­ly­hearts: I’m mar­ried, age 54, and an old love has drifted back into my life quite un­ex­pect­edly. He comes into the place where I work and I am the buyer for what he has to sell. This started out a pleas­ant­but-awk­ward sit­u­a­tion and quickly blos­somed into a great friend­ship, with a lot of sex­ual in­nu­endo, start­ing with lines like, “What are you go­ing to try to sell me to­day?” And there are Freudian slips all over the place, which we both en­joyed when we were lovers years ago. We had lunch last Fri­day, os­ten­si­bly to talk busi­ness, but it was in a ho­tel res­tau­rant and we both knew we were there on mon­key busi­ness. It turned out he had got­ten a room just in case, and we ended up there, half­way through lunch. He quickly paid and went up first and I joined him. We had adult fun. OK, so now what? We are both in ho-hum mar­riages to de­cent peo­ple. — Feel­ing Guilty, Down­town

Dear Guilty: What would you like your hus­band to do af­ter he had an ex­cit­ing li­ai­son with his old girl­friend? Tell you about it? Keep it to him­self? Try to rekin­dle the sex­ual side of your re­la­tion­ship? Try to imag­ine your hus­band in bed with some­one else in a ho­tel. How do you feel — hor­ri­fied, an­gry hurt, jealous — or in­dif­fer­ent? Un­for­tu­nately, tempt­ing peo­ple come along through­out mar­riage in this mod­ern work­ing world. Even peo­ple with a bunch of kids meet other par­ents at sports and arts events, and a good por­tion of are sin­gle-again par­ents. Your hus­band is a de­cent guy, and you have a decision to make now. Ask your ex-boyfriend, “Are you just mess­ing around or do you want to leave your wife and fam­ily?” Chances are good he’s just mess­ing around, and so are you. That will make it eas­ier to stop it now, and call it a slice, in­stead of let­ting it ruin two mar­riages. Then try to re-ar­range things so you aren’t the buyer deal­ing with him any­more.

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