Don’t let lovelorn buddy make you his go-be­tween

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - LIFE & ARTS - MAUREEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was out fish­ing with my best fish­ing buddy — sin­gle all his life — when he told me, over about the 10th beer (he was re­ally drunk) that he is in love with my sis­ter, who is mar­ried to our third fish­ing buddy, who couldn’t make it last week­end. He has never done any­thing about it ex­cept he has been silently in love with her and suf­fer­ing for years. They were high school sweet­hearts 20 years ago and we all come from a small town in the In­ter­lake. He says there’s no fear she loves him back, ex­cept as a friend and “that’s why it isn’t a prob­lem.” It may not be a prob­lem to him, but now it’s go­ing to be a prob­lem for me the next time the three of us are in the boat. That idiot has been hear­ing all about my sis­ter’s life through me and her hus­band. He even bought a lit­tle cottage close to hers and mine, os­ten­si­bly to be near his fish­ing bud­dies. Right! Why didn’t he speak up years ago when he could have still mar­ried her? In­stead he went away to Europe for two years while she cried for him — and then found an­other guy. This is such a mess and I have a sen­si­tive gut. How can I han­dle this? — Ham in the Sand­wich, In­ter­lake

Dear Ham: If he hoped, in his drunken stu­por, that you would tell her, dis­ap­point him by say­ing: “Your se­cret is safe with me, buddy. I’ll never tell her.” That puts the ball back in his court for good. It’s not your prob­lem. Tell him to shut up about it and not in­volve you. He didn’t fight for your sis­ter when he got back to Canada, and he hasn’t got­ten a new love life in place in 20 years. It’s kind of creepy that he lives vi­car­i­ously through you guys, so you may want to back off talk­ing about her. Now for the drink­ing lec­ture: No­body should be drink­ing like a fool when they’re in a boat on the lake and I doubt this buddy was the only one with his snoot in the suds. He could fall in, and at his level of supreme drunk­en­ness, not know what to do and never be seen again, or he could pull down some­body who tried to res­cue him. And there’s a drunk guy driv­ing that boat, isn’t there? Hor­rors. Do you at least wear life jack­ets? I’m bet­ting you sit on them in­stead. Get them on!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Ev­ery week­end, we pack up and go to the lake and I have to leave my “other man” back in the city. Week­ends are the only time I get to see him. Don’t feel sorry for my hus­band! He has been fool­ing around on me since Day 1. I didn’t leave him be­cause, in my own way, I love the dope, and he has lots of money to help raise my boys (sec­ond mar­riage for both of us). Last spring, I found a younger sex buddy of my own and I don’t feel the least bit guilty. The trou­ble is he’s work­ing op­po­site shifts to me dur­ing the week and then my hus­band takes me off to the lake ev­ery week­end, all week­end. I can’t say, “Hey, how about my sex life back home?” be­cause we would never talk about such things. I am a great mother and I’m not much both­ered by my hus­band’s cheat­ing now that I have a young and sexy part­ner. I just can’t work out how to see my side dish. What do you sug­gest? — Miss­ing Him a Lot, Lake of the Woods

Dear Miss­ing Him: I’m not giv­ing out lessons on how to cheat, but I will say this: Com­pared with all the other lake-sea­son cheat­ing I hear about, you are not a very cre­ative week­day thinker. ’Nuff said. Now, what’s the chance your hus­band is on to you and that’s why he in­sists you go the lake? If you know about him, he prob­a­bly knows about you, and it looks like he has pretty much out­foxed you. How about con­sid­er­ing an open mar­riage and cut­ting the sub­terfuge — or is that a big part of the ex­cite­ment?

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Canada

© PressReader. All rights reserved.