Getting away from him was the right decision
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I know size shouldn’t matter but, unbeknownst to me, I met a “diminutive” man. After three months of preliminary romance and a little fooling around, we got into lovemaking. It was such a disappointment for me, I am ashamed to say. I hung in for another two weeks, but it just wasn’t happening for me, although he was happy enough. Finally I said I was no longer interested and he got ugly. He DEMANDED to know if it was because of his small you-knowwhat. He said he’s had that complaint before, but he yelled that he thought I was “more of a lady” than other women and called me some names and told me to get out. — Shallow, Portage la Prairie
Dear Shallow: You can’t fake being turned on forever, although admittedly it’s easier when you’re a woman. This size situation didn’t work for you. What could change that? Actually, you’re lucky to get away from this fellow for other reasons. The yelling, cursing and moral judgment would have turned up in time, even if you had hung in there. That’s part of a nasty set of beliefs he has about women.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a guy who just got a bad reputation in Winnipeg and am seriously considering leaving town. I’m in the music industry where it is very easy to fool around with women and I was very immature when I started at 17. I caught herpes years ago. Though I don’t get many outbreaks and I usually know when they’re coming, I have passed it on recently to a one-night stand, and she blabbed it all over. I was thinking of moving to Toronto where I have family and friends, to start over. Is it possible to get rid of a bad reputation in this town or do I need to get out? — Musician With Herpes, Winnipeg
Dear Musician: Don’t let gossip chase you out. Only go to Toronto if that’s what you want to do musically, and this is really an excuse to make that move. Meanwhile, change your behaviour from fooling around to looking for love and be honest with any woman you meet before you have sex, so she has a choice. One-night stands are out, as people with no emotional attachment have a tendency to blab, and you don’t need more bad publicity. You should know people with herpes don’t always know when they are developing an outbreak. But, you can take medication to keep the outbreaks pretty much at bay. That, plus condoms would help make you a safer partner, although even that is not 100 per cent.