Apol­o­gize for lead­ing her on and say good­bye

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - ENTERTAINMENT - MAUREEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I thought I loved this woman I was see­ing since New Year’s, but now I think I’m over the hump and go­ing down the other side. Un­for­tu­nately, I told her at the be­gin­ning of the sum­mer I was fall­ing in love with her and we should think about putting a ring on it. It was just a feel­ing I had, but she was re­ally ex­cited and told ev­ery­one. Her birthday is com­ing up in Septem­ber and now I don’t feel like buy­ing her a di­a­mond. Last week­end she tried to drag me into a fancy jew­ellery store to look at rings and I made ex­cuses about money and stuff. “But you said...” was all I heard her say be­fore she started snif­fling. We didn’t make love all week­end be­cause she was be­ing cold to me. That’s the part I still liked best about our re­la­tion­ship — the sex. Should I break up with her? — Not Ready For Mar­riage, Win­nipeg

Dear Not Ready: What­ever age you are, you’re way too young to get mar­ried. If sex is the part that’s still work­ing and you’ve cooled off on her per­son­al­ity, it’s time to apol­o­gize for lead­ing her on, and say good­bye. It’s not fair to hang around the sex — even if she tries to hang onto you. For you, this re­la­tion­ship was an in­fat­u­a­tion, not last­ing love, and you spoke too soon about en­gage­ment. Apol­o­gize for your im­ma­tu­rity and your fickle feel­ings. Tell her you think she’s a great per­son and will end up mar­ried to a much more suit­able man. You, alas, are still too much of a boy. Use that word. It will help to turn her off.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The wall be­tween our kitchen and the neigh­bours’ is very thin. If I sit down with my wife for din­ner in the kitchen we can hear their con­ver­sa­tion on the other side. This evening the con­ver­sa­tion was about a cou­ple in the block and the messy way they leave their garbage out. At first, we didn’t know it was us — the two peo­ple they called “Lar­dass and Whiny.” I am a man of con­sid­er­able girth and wife does have a high nasal voice. As soon as we started to rec­og­nize de­tails of the garbage is­sue. I rapped sharply on the wall and they burst into laugh­ter. They laughed and laughed. We want to get them back. What can we do? — P-Oh’d, Elmwood.

Dear P-Oh’d: Come up with nick­names for them and con­duct a sim­i­lar con­ver­sa­tion on your side of the wall dur­ing din­ner — though noth­ing too mean. This might shut them up. If the four of you de­velop a sense of hu­mour over this, it could even end up be­ing a run­ning gag. But, don’t count on it. It would be safest to let them hear you do it once, and (hope­fully) have them rap on the wall, and leave it at that.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m cur­rently in­car­cer­ated and just turned 19. I’m go­ing to be here a while and I’ve been see­ing this girl for the past three years. I thought she was head over heels for me. We did ev­ery­thing to­gether, and she did any­thing for me, as I for her. The mem­o­ries were un­for­get­table and we’ve been through hell to­gether. Then one day I called, and a man an­swered. I asked him who he was, and he said, “I’m the frickin boss!” Then he hung up. I was dev­as­tated! Af­ter that I lost in­ter­est in phone calls. Should I call back and ask who that “boss” guy was? Or, should I for­get and move on? I re­ally wouldn’t want to lose her but this guy might make her lose her feel­ings for me. — Mr. Ridge, Man­i­toba

Dear Mr. Ridge: Clearly you don’t need an­other phone call to that guy, if he’s liv­ing there. Since you need to talk to your girl­friend pri­vately, ask a friend who’ll set it up and see what you can work out. Hav­ing said that, she may want to be free. She didn’t com­mit a crime and de­serve pu­n­ish­ment. It sounds like you had a won­der­ful re­la­tion­ship, and she may need an­other re­la­tion­ship, at least for now. She’s not go­ing to for­get you — great loves don’t come along very of­ten in life. Be­sides this guy, who calls him­self ‘the boss,’ is feel­ing pretty in­se­cure about her to use that term. Can you fi­nally make a plan to straighten out — to get your­self out of jail and work­ing, or cre­at­ing a le­gal busi­ness away from old friends? Ob­vi­ously, you want to have a nice woman and a deep re­la­tion­ship. You have to pre­pare to make a sit­u­a­tion where that can hap­pen.

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