Sug­gest Big Brothers and get to coun­selling

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - ENTERTAINMENT - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONE­LY­HEARTS: I’ve been with a won­der­ful man for six years who is 21 years older than I am, never had kids. I in­sisted he would not be de­priv­ing me of chil­dren be­cause frankly, I don’t want the lit­tle brats. Now I am com­pletely shocked be­cause he says HIS bi­o­log­i­cal clock has started tick­ing and he’s “just dis­cov­ered” he wants a baby more than any­thing else. I said, “I don’t want to be the provider. I never wanted to get preg­nant and I don’t want a baby with you or any­one else. I can’t stand kids!” He looked aghast and said, “I thought that was just im­ma­tu­rity talk­ing when I first met you and when you got near your 30s you would nat­u­rally want a baby, and I would love that. Now we are in aw­ful trou­ble be­cause I love him more than life it­self, but I really don’t want chil­dren — not even his and mine. What can I do? I ac­tu­ally think this may be a deal-breaker for him as he had tears in his eyes when I said, “No, never!” — Hard-Hearted Non-Mother, Fort Rich­mond

Dear Hard-Hearted: A re­la­tion­ship should never cost a life or a dream. If this man really wants a a baby, what will hap­pen if you deny him that? That be­comes the price of keep­ing your love — a price that he has to pay to stay with you — the loss of that child. If this life dream is deep-rooted and he really wants his own baby, then vol­un­teer­ing for some­thing like Big Brothers isn’t go­ing to be the an­swer. How­ever, you might sug­gest it as an alternative. What­ever you do, you need to get into re­la­tion­ship coun­selling right away, as this deal-breaker dis­cus­sion needs a third party.

Dear Miss Lone­ly­hearts: I am in love with a per­son who gos­sips about our sex­ual re­la­tion­ship to all her girl­friends. I over­heard her when I was sup­posed to be work­ing on the com­puter in her den, and she was on the phone in the kitchen. I heard the blow-by-blow of our li­ai­son the night be­fore and I barely rec­og­nized it. I felt my face get­ting red as she went on about how wild I am in the sack and how many times she had mul­ti­ples. Pure Fan­ta­sy­land! Af­ter she got off the phone I said to her, half-amused. “I heard all that. Who were you de­scrib­ing to your friend, be­cause it wasn’t you and me!” She said. “Oh I was just paying her back for all the brag­ging she does. OK, I get that she may want to out-do her friends, and make me look like an Ado­nis, but I really don’t want her dis­cussing our sex lives blowby-blow. She told me right at the be­gin­ning she didn’t want me to dis­cuss our sex life with my bud­dies. So, why is it OK for her? She isn’t even sorry or em­bar­rassed that I caught her. — Dou­ble Stan­dard for Women? Down­town

Dear Dou­ble: Your woman needs to be warned that girl­friends who hear this kind of stuff are not al­ways loyal. They may come af­ter you be­hind her back to try to get a sam­ple of the ac­tion she brags that you pro­vide. That might set­tle her down. other than that, you can of­fer her a deal — you get to brag to your bud­dies, if she con­tin­ues to brag to hers. You prob­a­bly have pretty good lever­age with this ar­gu­ment as she al­ready said she hates the idea of that. Tit for tat.

Dear Miss Lone­ly­hearts: I left a pair of $400 shoes at my friend’s house party two months ago and she keeps deny­ing they are there. I heard she wore them to a for­mal char­ity event last week, which I was not at. I paid her a lit­tle visit this week, ex­cused my­self to go her bath­room, and dug them right out of her closet! On the way out her front door, I waved my shoes in her face and told her she was lucky I didn’t call the cops on her for a $400 theft. She had the nerve to call me a bunch of names and has twisted the story to say I stole some of HER shoes to friends and it got back to my crowd. I know they were mine be­cause they had a cer­tain piece of bead­ing miss­ing. What can I do? — Wrongly Called A Thief, Tuxedo

Dear Called A Thief: Fight the lies with the truth, us­ing the same grapevine to get the info out. Tell the truth about re­claim­ing your $400 shoes so it gets back to the same peo­ple who heard her story about your steal­ing them in the first place. You will no doubt be able to find those key peo­ple by trac­ing back from the friends who told you.

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