Once a liar, al­ways a liar; don’t let your ex get away with it

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - ENTERTAINMENT - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONE­LY­HEARTS: I’m in my early 30s and re­cently started see­ing an exboyfriend. We were to­gether for a few years five years ago. Things were go­ing well and we were dat­ing the past three months. I was hes­i­tant about see­ing him again be­cause we had trust is­sues in the past (he lied a lot). Any­way, this past week he went on a trip with a group. I knew that his ex- girl­friend was also go­ing, but he said she had a new boyfriend. I fol­lowed my gut and ended up on her Face­book page. It was clear she wasn’t his ex, that they were still in a liv­ing-to­gether re­la­tion­ship. I also found his Plenty of Fish ac­count, stat­ing that he’s sin­gle, and he was on POF just this week. I sent him a mes­sage with a pic of his girl­friend’s Face­book sta­tus, as well as a pic­ture of his POF ac­count. I told him to ad­mit that he lied or I’d tell his girl­friend. Amaz­ingly, he did ad­mit it all. My ques­tion to you is: What do I do now? I told him never to con­tact me again. How­ever, I feel hor­ri­ble about the sit­u­a­tion and this girl he’s us­ing. — Itching To Tell Her, Win­nipeg

Dear Itching: Why did you NEVER go to his place in three months of dat­ing him? And, why did you re-date a known liar? Liars don’t change, be­cause the taboo against it is gone. Truth has no value. Get in touch with this woman on Face­book and tell her you’d been see­ing him the last three months and he’s “sin­gle” on POF. Blow the whis­tle loudly on this jerk and stay away from guys like him for good.

Dear Miss Lone­ly­hearts: I have the sad­dest sack for a best friend. Ev­ery night he phones and tells me his whole day and in the end he’s look­ing for sym­pa­thy. Yes­ter­day I lis­tened, then got very an­gry — with roar­ing in my ears — and hung up on him. He emailed me and I didn’t email back. He texted and I ig­nored him. Then he phoned and left a mes­sage say­ing he might have to kill him­self if best friends like me re­ject him like ev­ery­one else in the world. Should I keep silent and hope and pray he doesn’t kill him­self be­cause of me, or go back to be­ing his friend out of fear? — Scared He’ll Die Over Me, Win­nipeg

Dear Scared: Alert his fam­ily that he is threat­en­ing sui­cide. Then write him back and tell him he was bring­ing you down, bit by bit, ev­ery day and you were be­com­ing de­pressed your­self. In­sist he get psy­cho­log­i­cal help through his physi­cian who can re­fer him to a psy­chi­a­trist. Give him the 24-hour Klinic cri­sis line at 204-786-8686. Talk to his fam­ily. If he’s at school, alert a coun­sel­lor. You don’t have to stay his free coun­sel­lor un­der this threat. Too scared to cut him off? Then re-es­tab­lish a friend­ship and ev­ery time he calls, cut him off with a list of com­plaints of your own and then say “Gotta go!” Do that ev­ery day. He will soon get sick of you, and find an­other ear to lis­ten and ab­sorb his com­plaints. Then he will dump you. Phew!

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