Once a liar, always a liar; don’t let your ex get away with it
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m in my early 30s and recently started seeing an exboyfriend. We were together for a few years five years ago. Things were going well and we were dating the past three months. I was hesitant about seeing him again because we had trust issues in the past (he lied a lot). Anyway, this past week he went on a trip with a group. I knew that his ex- girlfriend was also going, but he said she had a new boyfriend. I followed my gut and ended up on her Facebook page. It was clear she wasn’t his ex, that they were still in a living-together relationship. I also found his Plenty of Fish account, stating that he’s single, and he was on POF just this week. I sent him a message with a pic of his girlfriend’s Facebook status, as well as a picture of his POF account. I told him to admit that he lied or I’d tell his girlfriend. Amazingly, he did admit it all. My question to you is: What do I do now? I told him never to contact me again. However, I feel horrible about the situation and this girl he’s using. — Itching To Tell Her, Winnipeg
Dear Itching: Why did you NEVER go to his place in three months of dating him? And, why did you re-date a known liar? Liars don’t change, because the taboo against it is gone. Truth has no value. Get in touch with this woman on Facebook and tell her you’d been seeing him the last three months and he’s “single” on POF. Blow the whistle loudly on this jerk and stay away from guys like him for good.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have the saddest sack for a best friend. Every night he phones and tells me his whole day and in the end he’s looking for sympathy. Yesterday I listened, then got very angry — with roaring in my ears — and hung up on him. He emailed me and I didn’t email back. He texted and I ignored him. Then he phoned and left a message saying he might have to kill himself if best friends like me reject him like everyone else in the world. Should I keep silent and hope and pray he doesn’t kill himself because of me, or go back to being his friend out of fear? — Scared He’ll Die Over Me, Winnipeg
Dear Scared: Alert his family that he is threatening suicide. Then write him back and tell him he was bringing you down, bit by bit, every day and you were becoming depressed yourself. Insist he get psychological help through his physician who can refer him to a psychiatrist. Give him the 24-hour Klinic crisis line at 204-786-8686. Talk to his family. If he’s at school, alert a counsellor. You don’t have to stay his free counsellor under this threat. Too scared to cut him off? Then re-establish a friendship and every time he calls, cut him off with a list of complaints of your own and then say “Gotta go!” Do that every day. He will soon get sick of you, and find another ear to listen and absorb his complaints. Then he will dump you. Phew!