Don’t throw away your dental dream be­cause of lazy wife

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - ENTERTAINMENT - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONE­LY­HEARTS: I hate my work life and I want to go back to school to be­come a den­tist. My wife is fu­ri­ous. She doesn’t want the loss of in­come and the fi­nan­cial strug­gles ahead and for her to go back to work. Our child is six and in school full time this year, so what is the big prob­lem? My wife is lazy and loves stay­ing at home, that’s the real prob­lem! I al­ways wanted to be a den­tist and then she got preg­nant “ac­ci­den­tally” and I mar­ried her and that was that. I fin­ished my first de­gree with ex­tremely high marks — but I ended up work­ing in an in­surance of­fice. The two of us are good with money, and we have enough saved for a new SUV — some­thing she wants — but I want to turn that into ed­u­ca­tion money. She says I’m only think­ing of my­self, and I say the same thing back! I know I could get ac­cepted into den­tistry in a year or two and want to save a pile to do that for the long-term good of our fam­ily, and — let’s face it — my per­sonal hap­pi­ness. Please tell me what to say to my wife. — Long­ing for Den­tistry, Win­nipeg

Dear Long­ing: This is your dream and you post­poned it over the preg­nancy, but you will be a bit­ter old man be­fore your time if you can­cel it al­to­gether to please your wife. So rock the boat! Crunch the num­bers you’d have if you use the SUV money, and she goes back to work, and you work over­time for a cou­ple of years. You may be in pretty good shape money-wise by the time you start school, and the univer­sity year has a siz­able sum­mer break where you can still earn more. Tell her there will be plenty of money for SUVs and cabin and pool once you be­come a den­tist. She says no? Bot­tom line: In 2013 you don’t need her per­mis­sion to fol­low your dream and she would be bet­ter off to go along with it and sup­port the dream. If you de­cide to do it against her will, she may want to end the mar­riage but since she’s a ma­te­rial girl, she’ll prob­a­bly see the wis­dom of the long-range plan.

Dear Miss Lone­ly­hearts: I went up to the fam­ily cabin last week to check it out and ev­ery­thing was fine ex­cept I could tell the bed­room with the fire­place had been used. I asked my teenage kids if they had been there and they said no, quite be­liev­ably. I asked my wife and she said, “No, of course not, you id­iot!” (She doesn’t drive and she’s crazy about me). A few other peo­ple know where the key is, and I am guess­ing a buddy of mine might have taken some­body there. I want to get to the bot­tom of this. What if I ask him and he has been cheat­ing? We have known each other since grade school and I would trust him with my life. But, you may ask, would I trust him not to cheat? Not sure. I love his wife like a sis­ter. What should I do? I can’t look the other way.— Onto Some­thing, North of Win­nipeg

Dear Onto Some­thing: Go see the friend you sus­pect. Lay the prob­lem out in front of him and say you’re doubt­ing your own fam­ily mem­bers, and could he en­lighten you if he knows what’s go­ing on? He can’t get mad about that ap­proach, even if he’s in­no­cent. Look him right in the eye and keep look­ing as he speaks. I’m guess­ing you will know by his face if he’s guilty or in­no­cent. If it was him, or you just guess 50-50, change the locks. If you don’t want to con­front him, but you don’t want any more shenani­gans at that cabin from any­one — kids or him — change the locks, and say noth­ing to any­one.

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