Listen to your friends; new lover offers nothing but pain
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I recently met the women of my dreams. I am also a woman. She’s very feminine, which I like. Unfortunately, she’s bisexual and wants a man once in a while. God knows why — I am a manly woman and we have all the fun and laughter and affection any lovers could want. Still, there’s the guy thing sitting between us like an ugly elephant. My friends tell me to back off her fast, as I’m going to get my heart smashed in pieces. This woman never lies to me, and I take the pain whenever she announces she’s going out with a man. I try to see another woman who likes me casually, whenever she’s off doing that, but I am mentally absent from the date, feeling sick about my true love seeing the man. I love her enough to want her to have everything she wants and needs in life, but this is killing me. I can’t imagine life without her in it. What do you think? — Heaven and Hell, Winnipeg
Dear H&H: This problem is not going to go away. If there’s been hope of that, she wouldn’t have felt the need to see a man so early in the game — certainly not if she had the kind of excited new love feelings you have. Even her ability to be bluntly honest with you about dates with men shows she is not that worried about hurting you. Yes, you are high on the menu, but it is a multi-item menu. She may also want to have kids with a man and have a traditional family one day, perhaps with women on the side. Or, the woman-woman experiment may be a phase. Your friends are right in trying to warn you, but it sounds like you may have to take some more pain from this woman before your love starts to drain away. Try having a heart-to-heart with her, rating her feelings for you as a possible life partner. Since she can be coldly honest, you may be surprised at your rating, and that will cool you off.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a highenergy high school student with lots of friends and I love my school. I don’t want to leave it. My marks were good, but I realized this month. I have really been letting them slide. This weekend my mom accused me of wanting to fail so I never have to leave high school. I yelled at her that she was wrong, and that the subjects were so hard in Grade 12, but the truth is they aren’t. My friends are excited about university and I couldn’t care less. Universities are big places and I don’t know anyone there. Please help! It is already getting late in the year to catch up, and my parents are talking about grounding me to force me smarten up. — Mixed Up, Winnipeg
Dear Mixed Up: Failing Grade 12 on purpose is an idea that would backfire on you in a big way. If you go off to university with a few of your close friends, it will be a whole new world to explore together, feeling like winners. If you stay back in high school, you will be with this year’s Grade 11s. They will wonder why you didn’t make it and you will, too. What you want is the company and security of all your old friends together and to graduate with them, but that’s not reality. Make some plans for September with your friends. Setting new goals will inspire you to go see all your teachers for help, and try hard for the marks you need to get into first year university.