Lis­ten to your friends; new lover of­fers noth­ing but pain

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - ENTERTAINMENT - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I re­cently met the women of my dreams. I am also a woman. She’s very fem­i­nine, which I like. Un­for­tu­nately, she’s bi­sex­ual and wants a man once in a while. God knows why — I am a manly woman and we have all the fun and laugh­ter and af­fec­tion any lovers could want. Still, there’s the guy thing sit­ting be­tween us like an ugly ele­phant. My friends tell me to back off her fast, as I’m go­ing to get my heart smashed in pieces. This woman never lies to me, and I take the pain when­ever she an­nounces she’s go­ing out with a man. I try to see an­other woman who likes me ca­su­ally, when­ever she’s off do­ing that, but I am men­tally ab­sent from the date, feel­ing sick about my true love see­ing the man. I love her enough to want her to have ev­ery­thing she wants and needs in life, but this is killing me. I can’t imag­ine life with­out her in it. What do you think? — Heaven and Hell, Win­nipeg

Dear H&H: This prob­lem is not go­ing to go away. If there’s been hope of that, she wouldn’t have felt the need to see a man so early in the game — cer­tainly not if she had the kind of ex­cited new love feel­ings you have. Even her abil­ity to be bluntly hon­est with you about dates with men shows she is not that wor­ried about hurt­ing you. Yes, you are high on the menu, but it is a multi-item menu. She may also want to have kids with a man and have a tra­di­tional fam­ily one day, per­haps with women on the side. Or, the woman-woman ex­per­i­ment may be a phase. Your friends are right in try­ing to warn you, but it sounds like you may have to take some more pain from this woman be­fore your love starts to drain away. Try hav­ing a heart-to-heart with her, rat­ing her feel­ings for you as a pos­si­ble life part­ner. Since she can be coldly hon­est, you may be sur­prised at your rat­ing, and that will cool you off.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a high­en­ergy high school stu­dent with lots of friends and I love my school. I don’t want to leave it. My marks were good, but I re­al­ized this month. I have re­ally been let­ting them slide. This week­end my mom ac­cused me of want­ing to fail so I never have to leave high school. I yelled at her that she was wrong, and that the sub­jects were so hard in Grade 12, but the truth is they aren’t. My friends are ex­cited about univer­sity and I couldn’t care less. Uni­ver­si­ties are big places and I don’t know any­one there. Please help! It is al­ready get­ting late in the year to catch up, and my par­ents are talk­ing about ground­ing me to force me smarten up. — Mixed Up, Win­nipeg

Dear Mixed Up: Fail­ing Grade 12 on pur­pose is an idea that would back­fire on you in a big way. If you go off to univer­sity with a few of your close friends, it will be a whole new world to ex­plore to­gether, feel­ing like win­ners. If you stay back in high school, you will be with this year’s Grade 11s. They will won­der why you didn’t make it and you will, too. What you want is the com­pany and se­cu­rity of all your old friends to­gether and to grad­u­ate with them, but that’s not re­al­ity. Make some plans for Septem­ber with your friends. Set­ting new goals will in­spire you to go see all your teach­ers for help, and try hard for the marks you need to get into first year univer­sity.

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