Read­ers of­fer sug­ges­tions to keep the ro­mance alive

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - ENTERTAINMENT - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just read the let­ter from Need Tips, who was look­ing for ways to make sure a mar­riage stays warm and loving and lasts a life­time. Her young man wanted ways to guar­an­tee that’s what hap­pens. Life of­fers none of us any guar­an­tees, but my high school sweet­heart and I will be cel­e­brat­ing 22 years of mar­riage this Oc­to­ber, plus seven years of dat­ing be­fore. Peo­ple of­ten tell me how lucky I am, but luck has noth­ing to do with it. A longterm re­la­tion­ship is not fire­works ev­ery day and it takes work to make it last. Al­ways re­mem­ber to com­mu­ni­cate with each other and re­spect each other. With re­spect there is ad­mi­ra­tion, sup­port and a deep friend­ship which sus­tains the deep love you will both have for one an­other. We have re­lied on th­ese prin­ci­ples to pull us through the dif­fi­cul­ties of life. You may not be able to see what is com­ing around the next bend, but is sure is awe­some know­ing you have a spouse that al­ways has your back. — 29 Years of Love, Win­nipeg

Dear 29: The hard­est part is of­ten rid­ing through the lulls or back­slides in in­ten­sity and warmth found in any long mar­riage. A cam­paign ini­ti­ated from one side or both, to take on a new ad­ven­ture to­gether — trav­el­ling, build­ing, join­ing some­thing new as a cou­ple — can bring you back quickly to get­ting a big kick out of each other.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This let­ter is in an­swer to Need Tips, who was seek­ing ad­vice, prefer­ably from el­derly men with ex­pe­ri­ence. My wife and I — now in our 70s — cel­e­brated our golden wed­ding an­niver­sary two years ago. We had courted for four years be­fore our mar­riage for a to­tal of 56 years of won­der­ful courtship and mar­riage. My se­crets to a won­der­ful mar­riage? Say “I love you” in the morn­ing when you awaken and ev­ery evening when you go to bed. Say “I love you” ev­ery time you part and ev­ery time you meet — ac­tu­ally any time or place with hon­esty and feel­ing. Hold hands when you’re out to­gether, hug a lot, kiss of­ten and never be em­bar­rassed at taste­fully show­ing your af­fec­tion for each other in pub­lic. Write af­fec­tion­ate notes to each other of­ten. When apart, con­tact each other daily. In­clude par­ents, your chil­dren and grand­chil­dren in your life, if you are so blessed. Send per­sonal, hand­writ­ten cards. Never for­get your loved one’s birthdays, an­niver­saries, spe­cial days, spe­cial dates, spe­cial cel­e­bra­tions. Say “please” and “thank you” all the time. Send flow­ers. Never part in anger or when up­set with each other. Talk it through. and say “I’m sorry” — go more than halfway if need be. Laugh to­gether, of­ten and loudly and do it in pub­lic with­out em­bar­rass­ment. Look for any op­por­tu­nity to pay a com­pli­ment to your part­ner. To­day is all we have — it is a gift to us. A friend, in her mov­ing eu­logy to her young hus­band who had just died, taught me that in life we only have to­day to live, so treat your loved one with this in mind. Love them al­ways as if there is no to­mor­row — one day there will be no to­mor­row. — Love Makes All Pos­si­ble, Win­nipeg.

Dear Pos­si­ble: What would we do dif­fer­ently to­day if it were the last one left with your loved one? My kids and I say “love you” in­stead of good­bye. If it were the last time we saw each other, that would be the last thing we ex­changed. It would be nice if all cou­ples were as nice to each other as adults are with their kids, in­stead of sub­con­sciously keep­ing score and dish­ing out words and af­fec­tion, “as de­served” that day or week.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Canada

© PressReader. All rights reserved.