Af­fair in the work­place bad idea in any lan­guage

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - LIFE - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I work for a com­pany whose labour force is pre­dom­i­nantly for­eign­ers who speak very lit­tle English. I still get sev­eral women who ap­pear to be flirt­ing with me. How do I re­turn the flirts to show them I’m in­ter­ested when they hardly un­der­stand any English? I’m 52, and it seems to defy logic why some­one 20 years my ju­nior should be in­ter­ested in me. I don’t smoke, drink and have never been mar­ried. There must be some­thing more than that to at­tract them. I ap­pre­ci­ate the at­ten­tion, but it would be nice to have a way of mov­ing be­yond just the coy looks in my di­rec­tion. — El Lobo Soli­tario (Span­ish for Lone Wolf)

Dear Lone Wolf: Flirt­ing back with th­ese ladies at work, with the hopes it will be­come some­thing ro­man­tic or sex­ual, is a bad idea. If you are work­ing at the same level, it could stir up jeal­ousy among th­ese women lead­ing to anx­i­ety and trou­ble in the work­place. If you are in a po­si­tion of au­thor­ity — their boss or up­per man­age­ment — you could be charged with sex­ual ha­rass­ment.

What do th­ese women who are 20 years younger — in their 30s — want from you, when you can’t even com­mu­ni­cate ver­bally? They may think you have the abil­ity to pro­mote them, or they may think you have money. Watch out! They may also have a hus­band or boyfriend in the pic­ture who could take you on when you walk to your car in the park­ing lot. En­joy the flir­ta­tious looks and what it does for your ego, but don’t take them se­ri­ously if you value your job and your safety.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My hand­some new boyfriend smells kind of stinky. I think it’s be­cause he uses a lot of odd spices in his cook­ing. I just find his skin smell is weird, and then on top of that, he douses him­self in cheap colognes. He says, “How come you’re only turned on to me when I get out of the shower?” I blurted out, “Be­cause you drown your­self with cheap cologne and it’s the only time you smell great.” And he said, “So you think I stink oth­er­wise? I use de­odor­ant and cologne. What else do you want, woman?” He hasn’t phoned me in three days. Is there any­thing I can do? — Miss­ing Him, East Kil­do­nan

Dear Miss­ing Him: You could ask him to shelve the colognes be­cause you love his nat­u­ral scent — but the truth is you don’t like it ei­ther. That does not bode well for a long-term sen­sual re­la­tion­ship. You need to love the smell of your man’s skin to want to cud­dle closely, feel af­fec­tion­ate and have a healthy, happy, plen­ti­ful sex­ual re­la­tion­ship.

This will not be your best chance for true love and ro­mance, so it’s time to move on now. You have al­ready in­sulted the guy and made him feel self-con­scious, and there’s noth­ing he should have to do about his diet to make his nat­u­ral skin smell dif­fer­ently for lit­tle old you. Set him free to find a woman who also loves the spices he cooks with and who grooves on his nat­u­ral smell.

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