Dump grump, sniff out an­i­mal lover

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - ARTS & LIFE - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

WDEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m 28 and deeply “in love” with my dog. I know I love him more than my part­ner, who is of­ten grumpy and stressed. I have no chil­dren and ad­mit I spoil my dog like a hu­man and talk baby talk to him. Last night my part­ner sug­gested I love the dog “more than I should” as if there’s some­thing creepy about it. I told him he was “full of it” and the fight built from there. He said he doesn’t even like an­i­mals be­cause they’re dirty and shed hair all over the place. He fi­nally said it was ei­ther him or the dog, and I said, “Well, I’m not get­ting rid of my dog!” Today he has said noth­ing, but I can feel a storm brew­ing and he is pack­ing things in the back room. The thing is I’m not chang­ing, but I do kind of love my boyfriend. I am so up­set! What to do? — Got a Stom­ach Ache, Win­nipeg

Dear Stom­ach Ache: To form a life­long al­liance with a per­son who dis­likes an­i­mals could be a mis­take for some­one like you. You’re a per­son who ad­mits to hu­man­iz­ing an­i­mals to an ex­tent and you need a love part­ner who thinks that’s OK, and maybe even finds it cute. And let’s get right to the crux of this prob­lem: your part­ner is grumpy and un­pleas­ant so you’re mak­ing your dog into a part­ner who is the larger source of love and fun and ac­tiv­ity. Who do you go for walks with twice a day? Not your cranky boyfriend. Who gets the love talk? The dog. So con­sider let­ting this re­la­tion­ship with Grumpy Guy go. While you’re get­ting over this lost ro­mance, for­get the solo walks and start tak­ing your dog to dog parks. There you will quickly see who loves dogs in this city.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I work at a her­pes re­search clinic and wanted to share some in­for­ma­tion with you re­gard­ing your an­swer to Thanks in Ad­vance in your Miss Lonelyhearts Sept. 1 col­umn.

It is im­por­tant to note the virus can be trans­mit­ted to a sex­ual part­ner even in the ab­sence of phys­i­cal symp­toms, i.e. her­pes le­sion, sores or bumps. The virus can be present on the sur­face of the skin (called “viral shed­ding”) any­where in the boxer short re­gion, at any time and without any symp­toms. Fur­ther­more, there is no com­mer­cially avail­able rapid test to de­ter­mine if some­one is shed­ding virus at a given time. Re­search has shown (http://depts.wash­ing­ton.edu/ her­pes/ph­p_u­ploads/pub­li­ca­tions/ JAMA-2011-Tron­stein-1441-9.pdf) that peo­ple who do not have any symp­toms are still con­ta­gious 10.2 per cent of a month, on av­er­age.

There is a lot more in­for­ma­tion on her­pes at the Univer­sity of Wash­ing­ton Vi­rol­ogy Re­search Clinic’s web­site at http://her­pes.wash­ing­ton.edu. — One Who Knows, No Ad­dress

Dear One Who Knows: Since noth­ing is vis­i­ble, one just has to de­cide if he or she is go­ing to take a chance on the per­son with her­pes, be­cause there is al­ways a chance of in­fect­ing with no warn­ing signs. It’s ex­tremely im­por­tant to wait and see if there is a good re­la­tion­ship hap­pen­ing first and if it’s worth the risk. That makes it even more dif­fi­cult for the her­pes car­rier to tell the new per­son if they carry the her­pes virus. One reader told me her new man friend waited more than a year to tell her he had her­pes. She had been on the verge of break­ing it off, when he fi­nally con­fessed why he wouldn’t make love with her. They have been to­gether for al­most a decade now with not one out­break. Like the per­son re­cently whose virus had set­tled down to no out­breaks for years, it isn’t caus­ing any grief at this point, but there’s al­ways that small pos­si­bil­ity.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Canada

© PressReader. All rights reserved.