Lucky you’re not locked away for lock­ing him up

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - ARTS & LIFE - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was so mad at my boyfriend, who passed out for the third time in a week, I locked him in the bed­room on my birth­day. I’m a handy guy, so I got out my tool­box and put a hook on the out­side of the door, left him in there and went back to the bar. When he came to, he got on his cell and phoned a friend who came over and they took the door off the hinges. When I got home he’d left a note telling me I was the worst sex­ual part­ner of his life, he hated men and he never wanted to see me again. OK, I’ll cop to forcible con­fine­ment, but he had no busi­ness say­ing I’m lousy in bed. I am the best. He knows that. He won’t take my phone calls and says I’m lucky I’m not in jail right now. What should I do to get him back? I still love him. — In Love with a Drunk, Fort Rouge

Dear Fort Rouge: It’s cu­ri­ous you’re no stranger to the le­gal term “forcible con­fine­ment.” Was this your first time? Look, peo­ple can wake up vom­it­ing and choke to death. They can even pass out and not wake up all if they have poured way too much al­co­hol into their bod­ies. You not only left your boyfriend in a vul­ner­a­ble state, but pre­vented him from get­ting out for help, or to a bath­room. You’re lucky he didn’t call the po­lice on you or they would have laid charges. Don’t even think about try­ing to get back with this man. Get some se­ri­ous coun­selling over what you did, and al­though we’re late in the game for re­spect, at least apol­o­gize any way you can and re­spect his de­sire not to see your face again.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend of 14 months and I are in our 60s. We got en­gaged in March. He gets mad about ev­ery lit­tle thing. He screams and yells and swears at me when some­thing doesn’t go his way, then I get moody and don’t talk to him. He hurts my feel­ings so badly I’m in tears. And ev­ery time he has a fit of anger, he wants his ring back. Last week I saw him walk­ing with an­other women hold­ing hands, so I guess that’s the end of our re­la­tion­ship. Now he wants his ring back. I put a lot of work into his cot­tage paint­ing and cut­ting thou­sand of sand­bags open with my bare hands. Do I have give the ring back? In my opin­ion, I don’t be­cause he was cheat­ing on me, so too bad for him. I should get some­thing for all the hard work I put into the cot­tage. What do you think? — Want That Ring, Win­nipeg

Dear De­serve: Bad news — you don’t get to keep the en­gage­ment ring when you break off an en­gage­ment. Even if he was cheat­ing and even if you worked your butt off at his cot­tage, the ring is not a form of pay­ment. On top of that, the ring has “bad vi­bra­tions” on it and you’re just mad. Give it back, and aim for a higher level. This was an un­healthy re­la­tion­ship and hard on you. Good news! Peo­ple are not stuck with the self-es­teem fam­i­lies and ro­mance part­ners leave them with. Take a break from the love game and go af­ter chal­lenges you en­joy, mas­ter­ing them and feel­ing stronger all the time. When you raise your self­es­teem, you’ll nat­u­rally raise your stan­dards in men. Your last choice of lover was a liar, yeller and cheater. Dump him and his di­a­mond ring for good and save up for a sparkly ver­sion of your own de­sign.

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