Hope for fun with choco­late ends up in messy sit­u­a­tion

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - LIFE - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a big choco­late lover and sur­prised my wife by smear­ing choco­late on her face and chest in the hot tub when we were hav­ing a bath to­gether on the weekend. In­stead of be­ing a good sport and let­ting me kiss it off, she freaked out. She screamed at me even though she knew it was just melted choco­late from some Hal­loween treats we’d been mak­ing for our kids. What’s wrong with her? Is she los­ing her sense of hu­mour? — Dis­ap­pointed In­no­va­tor, . St. Vi­tal

Dear Dis­ap­pointed: Al­though it isn’t en­tirely spon­ta­neous, brand new sex­ual things need to be ne­go­ti­ated as in, “How about I bring that left­over choco­late in the hot tub and we’ll do some body paint­ing?” Then she gets a chance to say “Oh what fun!” or “We’ll wreck the drain,” or “Not over my dead body!” And you, my learned friend, get to ar­gue your case.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a young son who’s autis­tic and an el­derly grand­mother who has Alzheimer’s disease. I also have two other younger chil­dren. I’d love to spend more time with my grand­mother and give my chil­dren a chance to know her, and her them. The prob­lem is my son is non-ver­bal and can be quite a hand­ful and it up­sets my grand­mother who com­plains about it to other fam­ily mem­bers.

I don’t want to just leave him at home all the time and only bring the other two be­cause it’s not fair and up­sets him. He sees us get­ting ready to leave and wants to come, too. Even if I was will­ing to do that, I can’t, be­cause my boyfriend works a lot on the week­ends and there aren’t many peo­ple that can han­dle babysit­ting him. I don’t know what to do. — Seek­ing Ad­vice, Winnipeg

Dear Seek­ing: Grandma is scared and clearly doesn’t want to in­ter­act with your autis­tic son, so you need to play with him in the next room, out­side at her house or find a respite worker to be with him back at home while you’re gone. You could do this ev­ery two weeks when your boyfriend is off at work and make sure your son would get to do some­thing fun and spe­cial with the worker. If it has a nice dis­trac­tion fac­tor, and he gets used to the worker, he won’t feel so up­set about be­ing left out of the Grandma vis­its.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found it soooo in­ter­est­ing the short hubby men­tioned in a re­cent let­ter wanted his tall wife to ap­pear taller be­cause when peo­ple stare at them it’s be­cause they think he’s amaz­ing and not be­cause they look oddly mis­matched like one red shoe and one cow­boy boot. He also thinks ev­ery­one prefers tall women. At least his delu­sions turn him on. — Thanks for the Laugh, Winnipeg

Dear Laugh: It’s in­ter­est­ing you think peo­ple should match phys­i­cally and that it’s some­thing to mock when they don’t. Th­ese days one would hope peo­ple could be more open- minded. How about think­ing dif­fer­ent heights, dif­fer­ent skin colour, dif­fer­ent cul­tures, and whether peo­ple are het­ero­sex­ual or ho­mo­sex­ual are not a prob­lem? In this dif­fi­cult world, we need to love each other on the in­sides bet­ter. Please send your ques­tions or com­ments c/o love­coach@hot­mail.com or mail let­ters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Moun­tain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

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