Give your­self the gift of a hol­i­day away from your fam­ily

ARTS & LIFE

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - ENTERTAINMENT - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m feel­ing so hurt. I’m re­cov­er­ing from ma­jor surgery right now and spent much of the hol­i­day sea­son laid up. I have a re­spon­si­ble job and was work­ing from home right af­ter my surgery. De­spite how I was feel­ing, and against doc­tors or­ders, I went to the mall to make sure cer­tain peo­ple like my sis­ter and her fam­ily had Christ­mas gifts and I even shipped my sis­ter a very ex­pen­sive gift, but didn’t even re­ceive a card. Ex­cuses? Too busy with her high-pow­ered job, had a cold, and fi­nally: “Sorry I didn’t have time.” How do I get over this hurt? — For­got­ten Sis­ter, Win­nipeg Dear For­got­ten: Stop do­ing more of what doesn’t work. Don’t stay home in Canada next year. Start sav­ing now be­cause next Christ­mas your gift-giv­ing bud­get will be redi­rected at a won­der­ful per­son — you — and a trip with a friend or kids, if you have them, to a beau­ti­ful hot spot with sparkling blue wa­ters for Christ­mas and New Year’s. Or per­haps you’d en­joy a cruise? A cruise will serve a lovely Christ­mas din­ner and New Year’s party for their guests and you will meet lots of great peo­ple to en­joy them with. And how about a short trip in Fe­bru­ary or March as a balm for your hurt feel­ings, if you are fully re­cov­ered from your surgery. You de­serve the best! Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m writ­ing you in re­sponse to the woman who laughed at her drunk mother-in-law pass­ing out in her din­ner. Laugh­ing can seem in­ap­pro­pri­ate, but it was prob­a­bly just a ner­vous re­sponse. You know the say­ing, “If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry?” But, this woman’s hus­band re­ally needs to be re­as­sured that her laugh­ing was not be­cause she is cruel. The more press­ing is­sue is the mother-in­law’s al­co­hol abuse. Laugh­ing at what hap­pened may ac­tu­ally have done this poor woman a favour. This may wake ev­ery­one in the fam­ily up, they will stop ig­nor­ing what is hap­pen­ing and get help for this woman. — Sil­ver Lin­ing? Win­nipeg Dear Sil­ver: It’s cer­tainly time for an in­ter­ven­tion since this woman’s mother-in-law showed ev­ery­one she’s way out of con­trol and can’t help her­self at this point. The daugh­ter-in-law who is in the dog­house could do some re­search about re­hab and other help available for this al­co­holic lady and dis­creetly present it to her hus­band. As for mend­ing fences with him, some­times it takes re­peated apolo­gies to get through to some­one you love and have hurt and dis­gusted. Fi­nally, they will let the apol­ogy in with a com­ment like, “Yes, I know you are re­ally sorry and I un­der­stand why it hap­pened and we’re OK now.” Please send your ques­tions or com­ments c/o love­coach@hot­mail.com or mail let­ters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Win­nipeg Free Press, 1355 Moun­tain

Ave., Win­nipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

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