Don’t let mom’s dead­beats make you give up

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - ARTS & LIFE - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONE­LY­HEARTS: I’m sick be­cause my mother is see­ing an­other dud, and he’s al­ways over here, pick­ing his gui­tar and eat­ing all our food. My mother has ter­ri­ble taste. This guy is a good singer and makes a few bucks on the week­ends play­ing in a band, but he’s dead lazy. She’s al­ready feed­ing him din­ner ev­ery night and he stays over here ev­ery sec­ond night so he doesn’t need to buy soap and sham­poo and can raid the fridge for break­fast and make a sand­wich for lunch. When I asked him where he lives he said, “With a friend for now.” Trans­la­tion: he’s couch-surf­ing. As for a day job, he works at a beer ven­dor a cou­ple of times a week. When I tried to tell my mother he’s an­other mooch, she said I was just jeal­ous be­cause I don’t have a boyfriend of my own. That’s true, and I want to keep it that way. I’m 17 and in Grade 12. My mother is mak­ing me hate men. Ev­ery guy is just there to suck ev­ery dime out of her bank ac­count and play gui­tar for her. Should I go live with my dad? He’s a good guy, but it’s lonely and bor­ing over there and all my friends live around here. — Giv­ing Up On Men, North Kil­do­nan Dear Giv­ing Up: Go ahead and give up on your mother’s type of men. Luck­ily, that’s only a tiny per­cent­age of the male pop­u­la­tion and the same num­ber of women are lazy leeches, too. There’s noth­ing you can do to in­flu­ence your mom’s taste, so get ready to work hard, take care of your­self and build a great life. You’re 17 — a piv­otal age — so it’s time you put all your en­ergy into set­ting up an ed­u­ca­tion path for your­self that starts next year. You’ll need to start sock­ing away money from a part-time job ASAP. It’s also time to fill out ap­pli­ca­tions for places you might like to at­tend, and seek out ev­ery schol­ar­ship, bur­sary and loan avail­able. If you don’t know what ca­reer you’d like to pur­sue, see your guid­ance coun­sel­lors for ap­ti­tude test­ing. And, it’s time to talk to your dad about mov­ing in with him this fall to go to what­ever post-se­condary in­sti­tu­tion in­ter­ests you. If you’re spend­ing most of your time at col­lege and a part-time job, you won’t mind that dad’s house isn’t a hub of so­cial ac­tiv­ity. Plus, you can bring new friends you ad­mire over. Now is the time to study hard and pull in the best marks you pos­si­bly can. You see, it’s not about your mother any­more, it’s about you and you fu­ture. Dear Miss Lone­ly­hearts: Last week­end I met an id­iot at a party and went to bed with her. We were both drunk on te­quila. One night with her was enough and I ran out of there at the crack of dawn. But, this is 2014 and she has many ways to contact me. I have heard from her by text, phone and Face­book count­less times, and there are at least 27 unanswered mes­sages right now. What did I do wrong? All I thought she wanted was a lit­tle fun af­ter a party and I gave it to her. It was no big deal. How do I get rid of her now? — Hounded to Death, Down­town Dear Hounded: You can’t just ig­nore her and hope she’ll go away. Write her back, like the gen­tle­man you hope to be one day, and say: “I’m sorry to give you the wrong im­pres­sion. I thought you and I were just go­ing to have fun and that was it. I’m not re­ally in­ter­ested in pur­su­ing a re­la­tion­ship or friend­ship with any­one at this time. I’m sorry, but I won’t be writ­ing or call­ing back, so please stop try­ing to contact me.” If that doesn’t work, block her so calls and texts won’t come through at all. As for the “ca­sual” sex, a lot of peo­ple fake that that’s all they want. Plow your sex­ual en­er­gies into daz­zling a girl you ac­tu­ally like and form­ing a great re­la­tion­ship where sex is a nat­u­ral part of it. Please send your ques­tions or com­ments c/o love­coach@hot­ or mail

let­ters to Miss Lone­ly­hearts c/o Win­nipeg Free Press, 1355 Moun­tain

Ave., Win­nipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

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