Why him? Right now, Toronto’s cracksmoking, booze-pounding, profanityspewing mayor is the biggest celebrity in the country. Mayor Ford is an unwitting comic genius — and a guaranteed ratings winner, should the Junos somehow manage to enlist the national embarrassment. Why not: Even if CTV was crazy enough to approach Ford and he was stupid enough to agree, there’s no way to guarantee a family-friendly performance. He also has more than enough TV to watch at home. The odds: Call it a million to one, which is equal to the chance of Ford making it out of 2014 without further creating further chaos.