MISS LONELYHEARTS

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - FRONT PAGE - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD Please send your ques­tions or com­ments c/o love­coach@hot­mail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Win­nipeg Free Press, 1355 Moun­tain Ave., Win­nipeg R2X 3B6.

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have had a crush on my sin­gle male teacher all through Grade 12. I think he likes me back, al­though he is too “pro­fes­sional” to say any­thing. Sum­mer is com­ing and his fam­ily has a cot­tage at the same beach where mine is. Would it be OK to cruise it a few times and stop by for a visit, if I see his car? — Mad Crush, Win­nipeg

Dear Crush: That might be OK in two or three years, but this young teacher couldn’t pos­si­bly date you now if he wanted to — not in the sum­mer af­ter you grad­u­ate Grade 12. It could look bad for him. Teach­ers can lose their jobs by con­sort­ing with stu­dents ro­man­ti­cally and it might look like you had been hid­ing a ro­mance while he was teach­ing you. For­get him for now. Let it all die down and try to find some­one with some of his qual­i­ties who has never been your teacher. If you’re still think­ing about him in a cou­ple of years, you might stop in at the fam­ily cot­tage and say hello, but be pre­pared for him to have a girl­friend or wife.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts; I first met this woman in Septem­ber 2010. I’ve never been one to be­lieve in love at first sight but that’s what hap­pened to me. I’m al­most 30 and she’s mid-30s. She knows I’m at­tracted to her, but she has no clue how I feel about her. I’ve never felt like this be­fore. I was hop­ing you might be able to give me some ad­vice. — In Love, North End

Dear In Love: First you have to find out if she has some­one she’s qui­etly see­ing. You don’t men­tion how you know her and see her. Is it at work, sports, a store, restau­rant, a neigh­bour­hood hang­out? The first step in get­ting closer to any­one is to talk with them. Don’t lead with a state­ment about your feel­ings. That will scare a woman away. Let her know you like what she’s wear­ing or her new hair­cut, her jew­elry, her laugh. Ask her about re­cent movies, books she likes, her work and fam­ily. Sec­ond step is dat­ing. Then, later, some ex­pres­sion of feel­ings when you sus­pect the other per­son has feel­ings too. Never tell some­one you’re in love with them right off the hop. It’s em­bar­rass­ing — and a short cut to the end.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m dat­ing a very pas­sion­ate ac­tress. She’s al­ways im­pro­vis­ing while we go shop­ping or drive in the car or are get­ting dressed af­ter sex. She some­times wants me to play an old man to her old woman, or two char­ac­ters out of a movie we have just seen to­gether. I find this fun some­times, but I don’t want to be con­stantly act­ing. I don’t like the pres­sure to play with her. Is she kind of nuts, as some friends have hinted, or am I just too low-en­ergy for her? I re­ally, re­ally like her. — Un­will­ing, River Heights Dear Un­will­ing: You sound ex­hausted. Don’t let yourself be used as the un­will­ing half of an im­prov duo be­cause it’s cheaper for her — and there you are, in­ter­ested in her mind and body, and al­ways avail­able. Time to take your bow and wan­der off a lit­tle.

This young woman may not be “nuts,” but she needs her own stage like she needs her next breath. Sug­gest she call film cast­ing agencies so she can im­merse her­self in real theatre set-ups film­ing in town. Also, hand her the brochures to get her­self en­rolled in classes for the fall. If any­one knows of sum­mer act­ing pos­si­bil­i­ties, please write in.

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