A quick kiss will be pleas­ing and stop the teas­ing

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - LIFE - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I work in the same build­ing as the most an­noy­ingly hand­some man in Win­nipeg. He teases me when we go out­side for smokes at work. When we go out for drinks to our bar on Fri­days — ev­ery­one in the neigh­bour­hood goes there — he’s al­ways there and im­me­di­ately on my case. My friends say he has the hots for me, but I can’t see how that’s true when he’s al­ways bug­ging me. I am not a young girl. I should be able to throw it right back at him with­out blush­ing, but I find him so at­trac­tive I get all hot and both­ered and can’t come up with smart re­marks for the life of me. I can trade digs with any­body else and I’m funny with them. How do I stop him? What is his prob­lem aside from be­ing newly sep­a­rated? — Red-Faced Vic­tim, Broad­way Dear Red-Faced: You’re too flus­tered to shoot back at him and he gets a kick out of see­ing you blush. It means your mind and emo­tions are thrown into con­fu­sion, and he knows what that means. Your friends can see the sparks fly­ing be­tween you, so be­lieve them. The fact that he’s newly sep­a­rated is a tad wor­ri­some. He may just be prac­tis­ing his flirt­ing skills, but afraid to get in­volved be­cause his life is still tur­bu­lent. Do you want to call his bluff? If and when you do, wait un­til you see him and his smart mouth at the bar. When he throws out the first com­ment, beckon to him with your fin­ger and say, “Come over here, and say that, Mis­ter!” Then shock him by kiss­ing him on the mouth and say­ing, “Now, do you want to stop teas­ing me ask me for din­ner?” On a more se­ri­ous note, Beauty, it’s time to be­friend The Beast, and find out what he’s all about. You may find out he’s still a mess un­der­neath and may even want his wife back — then your fan­tasies will quiet down. Or, you may find out he’s glad to be sin­gle again. Warn­ing! He may not be want­ing any­thing se­ri­ous at this stage of the game. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m get­ting ready to break it off with my fi­ancée be­cause she’s al­ready act­ing like a bridezilla and an all-round witch now that we’re en­gaged. We have wed­ding book­ings less than a year away. I didn’t know this kind of woman lived un­der­neath the sweet per­son I gave the en­gage­ment ring to. She’s a real bully. I’ve al­ready seen her say and do things that are so rude and in­sen­si­tive to her own kind, soft-spo­ken mom, that she cried. The things she says be­hind the backs of her friends in the bridal party make me afraid for my own skin. I haven’t known her that long — a year and a bit — and she was al­ways sweet as pie to me. Last night, the sweet act to­wards me to­tally cracked. She had a few cock­tails and treated a waiter with to­tal dis­re­spect. She hu­mil­i­ated him. I used to be a waiter and I was em­bar­rassed to be with her. I watched him leave and talk to the man­ager, who gave our ta­ble to another waiter. Em­bar­rass­ing! I called her on it. She said, “Grow up, for God’s sake. If you had the co­jones to say what needed to be said in sit­u­a­tions like this I wouldn’t have had to say it for the both of us.” I flipped out money for the din­ner and a cab ride home, and left her there. The far­ther away I drove, the bet­ter I felt. I just want out. She and I are pro­fes­sion­als in our late 20s pay­ing 50 per cent of the wed­ding costs each. Now what? — Get­ting Out, Win­nipeg Dear Get­ting Out: First, you break up with her in per­son, and tell her ex­actly why. You should also talk to one or both of her par­ents so they have more than just her side of the story about why it ended. Then you di­vide up the paid de­posits and what­ever penal­ties you may have con­tracted for in the event of a can­cel­la­tion. Get re­ceipts for the money; don’t give the money di­rectly to her. As for the en­gage­ment ring, she should give it back, though she may be angry enough to try to keep it. You must de­cide if you want to fight her for it. If it wasn’t too ex­pen­sive, you might want to let it go and be fin­ished with her quickly. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went out with a guy two weeks ago who made me laugh so hard I cried. I felt such a con­nec­tion with him. We have the same sense of hu­mour and the same points of view. We like a lot of the same restau­rants and sports. We are both gay. But, he never called me again. It was only one date so I don’t feel I have the right to call him and ask him why he didn’t call again. What should I do? — Phone Ain’t Rin­gin’, River Heights Dear Rin­gin’: Call him and cheer­fully ask him out. He may not have thought you liked him as much as you do. You don’t have the right to whine after one date and it wouldn’t be pro­duc­tive. Treat him to a place you know he would like to go that re­quires you buy tick­ets, and tip things in you favour. If he still isn’t in­ter­ested and re­spon­sive after the sec­ond date, for­get him. Please send your ques­tions or com­ments to love­coach@hot­mail.com or mail let­ters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Win­nipeg Free Press, 1355 Moun­tain Ave., Win­nipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

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