A baby with this boyfriend would be a bun­dle of bur­den

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - ARTS & LIFE - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I want a baby badly and my boyfriend doesn’t. He won’t even live with me. He says we’re hav­ing a lot of fun liv­ing in our own places and “why fix what ain’t broke?” I just about broke his head when he said that. He says he doesn’t trust me be­cause I cheated on him once. It was just once! I need two hands to count how many times he cheated on me. I for­gave him and he can’t get over the one time I went with a friend of his, not a close friend ei­ther, and that hap­pened after he’d cheated on me at least three times to my knowl­edge. I was sim­ply teach­ing him a les­son about how it feels. He al­ways say he “loves me to the moon and back,” but he says he doesn’t want a kid with me. I love him, and he is so cute I want him to be the fa­ther of my baby. I put up with way more than him, so what is his prob­lem? By the way, I’m 18 and he’s 21, so we’re old enough to do any­thing. — Want My Baby, West End Dear Want My Baby: Telling a girl you love her falls eas­ily out of the mouths of guys who want to get ac­tion that night. Why are you chas­ing after a guy like this? To prove you can get him back be­tween his other con­quests, and per­haps tie him down with a baby? That’s not much of a vic­tory and a baby would not slow him down one bit. He doesn’t want to get a place with you be­cause he needs a sec­ond place to take other women for sex. Sorry to be so blunt, but you need to face facts. Hav­ing a baby is all about the baby: re­spon­si­bil­ity, stay­ing home, pro­vid­ing love, food, clothes, school­ing and se­cu­rity. You may think it would be sweet to have a baby, but this guy doesn’t even want to live with you. He’s never go­ing to be true to you and you aren’t ma­ture enough to be a re­spon­si­ble mother to a child for the next 20 years. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: At my Portage Av­enue bus stop I wait at to go work, I keep meet­ing up with this real cutie all dressed up in dif­fer­ent suits. I talk to him while we wait and I com­ment on his sharp clothes. He’s shy and he blushes. We get on the bus and he al­ways lets me get on first, like a real gen­tle­man, but then he goes and sits at the op­po­site end to me. Is he too em­bar­rassed to sit down with me? — Crushin’ On Him, Down­town Dear Crushin’: Test him out. Go sit with him and see what hap­pens. Just plunk your­self down. 1. If he scoots over to the win­dow and looks out and hardly talks the whole trip, he doesn’t want you be­side him. 2. If he turns and talks to you on the way, he’s prob­a­bly in­ter­ested. 3. If he asks you out for cof­fee or lunch, you know for sure he likes you. If he doesn’t, he may be too shy to make the first move. 4. Fi­nal test move: you ask him out. If he says no, stop both­er­ing him. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Do you be­lieve in long en­gage­ments for older cou­ples? My man gave me a di­a­mond en­gage­ment ring in July and now says he wants to wait for three years un­til he’s re­tired and has time to sell his house and en­joy life with me. What a crock. I am al­ready re­tired, so I said, “Re­ally? That’s your stupid an­swer? Every­body’s ask­ing me about the date, and I’m em­bar­rassed to say there isn’t one, so make up your mind!” He says he doesn’t care if they can’t get a wed­ding date out of us, and it’s none of their business. I’m not wait­ing three years with an en­gage­ment ring on my fin­ger. And what a flimsy ex­cuse for wait­ing. What do you think? — Ner­vous Fi­ancée, We­ston Dear Fi­ancée: This prob­lem re­quires a deeper dis­cus­sion with him, one you may be scared to have. He’s act­ing strangely, like he got cold feet after giv­ing you the ring last sum­mer, and he may bolt. It would be best to find out now if he doesn’t want to go through with this, rather than feel un­com­fort­able for three years and then find out there isn’t go­ing to be a wed­ding after all. Ask him if it’s just the wed­ding fuss that’s spook­ing him. If so, of­fer to marry him pri­vately with a wed­ding com­mis­sioner and wit­nesses. But, if he sim­ply wants to back out, there’s noth­ing you can do but give him back the ring and say goodbye. Please send your ques­tions or com­ments to love­coach@hot­mail.com or mail let­ters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Win­nipeg Free Press, 1355

Moun­tain Ave., Win­nipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

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