Don’t be such a (down­ward) dog at yoga class

Winnipeg Free Press - Section G - - ENTERTAINMENT - MAU­REEN SCURFIELD

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m itch­ing to find out if this beau­ti­ful, sexy, long-legged woman at my yoga class is in­ter­ested in me. I have moved my mat closer and closer to her over the past few classes we have been at­tend­ing to­gether, yet she doesn’t seem to no­tice me. My fe­male friend who goes with me knows her well and she’s sin­gle. My friend tells me creep­ing closer and closer to her at class is a bad tac­tic, so how am I sup­posed to get to know her? — Stymied, River Heights Dear Stymied: Yoga is a pri­vate med­i­ta­tional sort of thing and peo­ple don’t want to know some hot body be­side them is try­ing to flirt, or even get their at­ten­tion vis­ually. You’d be best to ask your fe­male yoga friend to in­ter­cede for you since she knows this woman. Maybe she could ask if the three of you could go for cof­fee or a snack after the class. Hit­ting this at­trac­tive woman up at class on your own would not be a smooth move and yo­gis should al­ways be smooth! If you make your in­ter­est any more ob­vi­ous, how will she feel about com­ing back to class with your eyes on her thighs? Not good at all. Play it cool. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m feel­ing a low-grade de­pres­sion that re­sults in my be­ing very quiet. I am a real bore to ev­ery­one, in­clud­ing my wife, my kids and my friends. My wife keeps ask­ing me what’s wrong and I can’t even tell her. Sex is too much en­ergy to bother with, un­less she does all the work. Maybe it’s win­ter com­ing, maybe it’s the new house that’s all in the shade, maybe it’s that my job is bor­ing or that I am ap­proach­ing 42 and feel­ing a midlife cri­sis com­ing on. I just don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, but the whole world seems to be in tones of grey. Do I need help, or will this just pass? I am shy about ad­mit­ting to be­ing a big wuss and need­ing to see a shrink. If I tell my wife, she will worry. If I don’t tell my wife, she will won­der why I’m sneak­ing off to a shrink, like maybe I could be do­ing some­thing sneaky or wrong — she has a big imag­i­na­tion — and I know she’d be re­ally hurt and up­set. What should I do? — Shades of Grey and Black, West­wood Dear Shades of Grey: See your doc­tor for some tests, since this seems rel­a­tively new to you. Also, ex­per­i­ment with a sea­sonal af­fec­tive disorder (SAD) light lamp, and see if that bright­ens your mood. A lot of peo­ple go into a flatlin­ing light de­pres­sion in the darker months of the fall and don’t re-emerge un­til there are bright blue skies and snow on the ground to re­flect light. Some peo­ple have it worse and don’t feel up again un­til spring. Oth­ers hit the bot­tom in March and April if the win­ter is long. Ex­plain to your wife that she isn’t do­ing any­thing wrong, it’s just a grey mood you can’t seem to shake. Once she knows she’s not at fault, she might be sup­port­ive of your see­ing a psy­chol­o­gist to talk about things in your life that might be trig­ger­ing some or all of your de­pres­sion. She might want to go with you once or twice, as she’s been ob­serv­ing you closely for a long time and might have no­ticed some­thing com­ing on. Your physi­cian can rec­om­mend a psy­chol­o­gist or you can ask around and sim­ply phone up some­one who is rec­om­mended. Many work­places have group in­surance to cover part or all of your vis­its. P.S. It also helps your mood to do aer­o­bic ex­er­cises, so run­ning, play­ing a rac­quet sport and/or do­ing some ski­ing — which cel­e­brates win­ter — might help your mood. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Last year I went to a Hal­loween party com­pletely dis­guised and stood in a cor­ner. Every­body spent all night try­ing to fig­ure out who I was. I was ac­tu­ally the cen­tre of at­ten­tion and much spec­u­la­tion. This year I’m go­ing to the same Hal­loween party and won­der if it would be a laugh to go back as the same character, to show them how stupid they are and trick them again. Or, should I play nice and dress in a dif­fer­ent dis­guise al­to­gether? What do you think? — Not Your Mr. Nice Guy, St. James Dear Not Mr. Nice: Be a sport and wear a dif­fer­ent cos­tume, for sure. That will en­sure you have your own good time as well. Chances are somebody fig­ured you out since last Hal­loween, and what a drag for you if every­body knew who you were from the be­gin­ning. The idea of a Hal­loween party dis­guise is not to prove peo­ple stupid, but to pro­vide fun and con­ver­sa­tion be­fore fi­nally re­veal­ing your­self mid­way through the party then par­ty­ing down with them, as friends. Please send ques­tions or com­ments to love­coach@hot­ or mail to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Win­nipeg Free Press, 1355 Moun­tain Ave., Win­nipeg, MB,

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