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Late Night

Seth Mey­ers

Af­ter Pres­i­dent Trump claimed dur­ing his ad­dress to the U.N. Gen­eral Assem­bly that he has ac­com­plished more than any other pres­i­dent in his­tory, world lead­ers in the au­di­ence laughed in re­sponse. And you know it was crazy, ‘cause even the Ger­mans laughed.

Pres­i­dent Trump claimed that he has ac­com­plished more than any other pres­i­dent in his­tory, and world lead­ers in the au­di­ence laughed, though tech­ni­cally they were still laugh­ing from when he said, “Hello, I’m the pres­i­dent of the United States.”

The Se­cret Ser­vice un­veiled the first up­date to the pres­i­den­tial limo since 2009. It is filled with a wide range of med­i­cal sup­plies, in­clud­ing a re­frig­er­a­tor full of Pres­i­dent Trump’s blood type, which I as­sume is “chunky-style.”

Kim­mel Live

Jimmy Kim­mel

Brett Ka­vanaugh seems to be back­ing off his claim on Fox News that he was a model stu­dent. In his pre­pared tes­ti­mony, he wrote, “In ret­ro­spect, I said and did things in high school that make me cringe now.” In ret­ro­spect, you said things on Fox News ... that should make you cringe now.

To make his case, Ka­vanaugh re­leased his so­cial cal­en­dar from the sum­mer of 1982. This is a cal­en­dar he kept when he was a kid. USA To­day got an ex­clu­sive look at the cal­en­dar and it re­veals a lot. June 16th he went to see

Grease 2. This is not a joke. In May he was grounded three Fri­days in a row. The very next day af­ter he was grounded he went to the prom. What kind of par­ent­ing is that?

I do have to say, though, these cal­en­dars do make a case for Judge Ka­vanaugh. I mean, look at this. The de­tail. There’s Beach Week, first of all. Then li­brary, didn’t have sex, didn’t have sex, didn’t have sex, fi­nals, didn’t have sex, still a vir­gin, no sex, all good, good boy.

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