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“I stayed in a re­ally old ho­tel last night. They sent me a wake-up let­ter.” —Steven Wright

“Cana­di­ans can eas­ily pass for Amer­i­can as long as we don’t ac­ci­den­tally use met­ric measurements or apol­o­gize when hit by a car.” —Dou­glas Cou­p­land

“If you think ad­ven­ture is dan­ger­ous, try rou­tine. It’s lethal.” —Paulo Coelho

A cou­ple ar­rive in Phoenix dressed in boots, parka, scarf and mit­tens. In­trigued by their dress, an Amer­i­can woman walks over and asks, “Excuse me, I’ve no­ticed the way you’re dressed and I won­dered where you’re from?” They re­ply, “Saska­toon, Saskatchewan.” The Amer­i­can woman re­turns to her hus­band, who asks, “So, where are they from?” She replies, “I don’t know. They don’t speak English.”

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