Kids get eye­ful of parental mis­be­hav­ior

China Daily (Canada) - - CHINA -

Chu Zhao­hui, a se­nior re­searcher at the Na­tional In­sti­tute of Ed­u­ca­tion Sciences, said that as a child’s first teach­ers, the par­ents have a ma­jor in­flu­ence on how chil­dren will be­have.

Chil­dren usu­ally learn by im­i­tat­ing the be­hav­ior of the peo­ple around them, es­pe­cially par­ents, with­out know­ing if the be­hav­ior is good or bad, he said.

“Chil­dren who are lied to by their par­ents are more likely to be­have dis­hon­estly them­selves,” he said.

“Par­ents may lie to their kids to make their kids be­have or to pro­tect their feel­ings. How­ever, they can un­in­ten­tion­ally teach their kids that ly­ing is a nor­mal thing to do if they keep do­ing it. Even white lies — in­no­cent, harm­less lies — can set an ex­am­ple that lies are all right.”

Xiong Bingqi, deputy di­rec­tor of the 21st Cen­tury Ed­u­ca­tion Re­search In­sti­tute, said chil­dren are very im­pres­sion­able when it comes to curse words even if they do not know the mean­ing.

They might think it is a cool word, or try to get your at­ten­tion by us­ing it. Ha­bit­ual curs­ing by par­ents can def­i­nitely af­fect chil­dren and nor­mal­ize their use of curse words, he said.

“As par­ents, we are of­ten blind to our own bad habits, yet bad habits, harm­ful life­style choices or men­tal health is­sues can neg­a­tively af­fect our chil­dren, and that’s why par­ents need to hold them­selves to a high stan­dard around their chil­dren,” he said.

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