Grow­ing up is a child’s own ex­pe­ri­ence

China Daily (USA) - - CHINA -

Zhu Heng, a 32-year-old teacher from Lanzhou, Gansu province

It hap­pened last year, when my daugh­ter was a pri­mary school se­cond grader. I no­ticed she was al­ways up­set in the morn­ings be­fore she went to school, and for sev­eral days she used ex­cuses such as stom­ach aches to de­lay leav­ing home.

I as­sumed that she was in some sort of trou­ble, es­pe­cially as she was not do­ing well aca­dem­i­cally at the time. Even­tu­ally, I asked her if any­thing was wrong, and she told me she was be­ing bul­lied by a class­mate who sat in front of her and whose grades were quite good.

The class­mate of­ten in­ter­cepted her ex­er­cise books when they were handed down from the front to the back. He ac­cused her of drag­ging down the en­tire class be­cause of her poor grades, as well as mock­ing and teas­ing her. He also hid her be­long­ings.

Hop­ing to set­tle things our­selves, I en­cour­agedmy daugh­ter to go to the teacher who su­per­vised the class. The teacher spoke with the bully and rep­ri­manded him, but with­out mak­ing things worse. The two chil­dren be­gan to get along bet­ter, andmy daugh­ter was fi­nally able to con­cen­trate on her stud­ies and was happy to go to school.

As a par­ent, the best thing to do is prob­a­bly to sug­gest a so­lu­tion to the child and then let them han­dle the is­sue them­selves. Af­ter all, grow­ing up is a child’s own ex­pe­ri­ence and par­ents only need to step in when it’s re­ally nec­es­sary.

Chil­dren will only re­al­ize their own in­ner strength when they stand up and fight their own bat­tles. ZhuHeng spoke with Han Jun­hong.

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