No shame in sex toys
My French friend was stopped by security at an airport in Guangdong Province recently. She had put her personal belongings through the airport scanner, and apparently, they saw something. A male security guard opened one of her bags and pointed at several boxes whose packaging had images of vibrators. “What’re these?” he asked. “Women stuff,” my friend answered. He was flabbergasted. “You should have seen his face,” my friend told me when we met on the other side.
I can totally understand why the security guard behaved that way. While sex toys are not unusual things for Western women, most Chinese still view them as unorthodox.
Sexual activity is rising among young people in China, but people’s idea of sex and sexuality is still conservative.
Chinese women who talk about their sexual desires and pleasure are often deemed “shameless” and “sluts.”
They are expected to be ignorant about sex-related topics because of traditional values.
“Sex toys are never a topic in Western countries. They’re so normal that we give them as gifts to friends,” said a male friend from England, who has bought toys for his wife.
But when my female friend showed her boyfriend some sex toys she bought, he almost went crazy.
My friend only wanted to add some spark to their sex life, but it clearly affected her boyfriend’s ego. She said sex with her boyfriend could be better. So she consulted many other people, hoping to give it a boost. Using sex toys was one of many suggestions she got.
“But he didn’t buy it,” she said.
I once knew a sex toy expert who held a salon on sex toys. Dozens of people came to the salon to learn from her.
Her students were mostly aged between 20 and 35 and were impressed by her teachings.
“Nowadays, people are really ignorant about sex toys, which have many categories and can serve as good foreplay tools,” she had said. “What we are lacking is sex education.”
Talking to me, she was quite confident that if there were people dedicated to letting others know that “sex is a beautiful thing” the social perception of sex and sexuality could change within the next decade.