Effeminate not always gay
One of my male friends found a girlfriend recently. It came as a surprise to most of us because we all thought he was gay. He impressed me deeply once. It was late one autumn afternoon, and several of us friends had gathered at a restaurant for dinner. Most of us, including many of the women, drank cold beer. But he refused to drink alcohol and kept asking for hot water from the waitress. He wrapped himself with a big scarf and sipped the hot water like a woman.
After that, we noticed many suspicious things that made us wonder whether he was gay. For example, he uses facial masks and often discusses which kinds to buy with us girls. He also uses strongly scented hand cream and excitedly joins in the conversation when we girls talk about handsome boys in our WeChat group, and so on.
However, he never admitted that he was gay. At first, we thought it was because he was too shy to come out of the closet. Later, I got to know his girlfriend by coincidence and realized that he is really not gay, just effeminate.
His girlfriend said, in the beginning, she also thought he was gay. She said when he told her he wasn’t, she started becoming attracted to him because he was much more tender and gentle than any man she had met before. They think alike on many things, she said, and he can always think from her point of view, which makes her very comfortable.
She also said that using makeup and cosmetics is not exclusive to gay men. Anyone who cares about their skin and appearance can use them, and it is a good thing for men to take good care of themselves and keep tidy, she affirmed.
I kind of agree with her. Nowadays many girls are conflicted. On the one hand, they need their boyfriends to be masculine and powerful. But on the other hand, when they lose their temper, they say their boyfriends have “straight man cancer,” don’t appreciate them and can never understand what girls are thinking.
You can’t have your cake and eat it too. My friend’s girlfriend doesn’t have any of the common complaints, and she feels good about her relationship. However, she joked that if one day thieves accost them on the street, it is very likely that she would have to fight the bad guys and protect her boyfriend from danger.