Ef­fem­i­nate not al­ways gay

Global Times – Metro Beijing - - TWO CENTS - By Lisa Lee

One of my male friends found a girl­friend re­cently. It came as a sur­prise to most of us be­cause we all thought he was gay. He im­pressed me deeply once. It was late one au­tumn af­ter­noon, and sev­eral of us friends had gath­ered at a restau­rant for din­ner. Most of us, in­clud­ing many of the women, drank cold beer. But he re­fused to drink al­co­hol and kept ask­ing for hot wa­ter from the wait­ress. He wrapped him­self with a big scarf and sipped the hot wa­ter like a woman.

Af­ter that, we no­ticed many sus­pi­cious things that made us won­der whether he was gay. For ex­am­ple, he uses fa­cial masks and of­ten dis­cusses which kinds to buy with us girls. He also uses strongly scented hand cream and ex­cit­edly joins in the con­ver­sa­tion when we girls talk about hand­some boys in our WeChat group, and so on.

How­ever, he never ad­mit­ted that he was gay. At first, we thought it was be­cause he was too shy to come out of the closet. Later, I got to know his girl­friend by co­in­ci­dence and re­al­ized that he is re­ally not gay, just ef­fem­i­nate.

His girl­friend said, in the be­gin­ning, she also thought he was gay. She said when he told her he wasn’t, she started be­com­ing at­tracted to him be­cause he was much more ten­der and gen­tle than any man she had met be­fore. They think alike on many things, she said, and he can al­ways think from her point of view, which makes her very com­fort­able.

She also said that us­ing makeup and cosmetics is not ex­clu­sive to gay men. Any­one who cares about their skin and ap­pear­ance can use them, and it is a good thing for men to take good care of them­selves and keep tidy, she af­firmed.

I kind of agree with her. Nowa­days many girls are con­flicted. On the one hand, they need their boyfriends to be mas­cu­line and pow­er­ful. But on the other hand, when they lose their tem­per, they say their boyfriends have “straight man can­cer,” don’t ap­pre­ci­ate them and can never un­der­stand what girls are think­ing.

You can’t have your cake and eat it too. My friend’s girl­friend doesn’t have any of the com­mon com­plaints, and she feels good about her re­la­tion­ship. How­ever, she joked that if one day thieves ac­cost them on the street, it is very likely that she would have to fight the bad guys and pro­tect her boyfriend from dan­ger.

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