Tips for pre­tend­ing to like Game of Thrones if you don’t

Global Times – Metro Shanghai - - FRONT PAGE - By Lizzie Yin

Over the last few weeks, you might have felt left out be­cause ev­ery­body is talk­ing about Game of Thrones (GoT), as HBO has just re­leased the lat­est sea­son of the fan­tasy drama series.

Here are some sim­ple tricks and ba­sic facts that will help you sur­vive GoT fever, if you haven’t seen it or are not caught up on it.

When­ever some­body starts bab­bling about a char­ac­ter from GoT, just put on a poker face and say, “But, even­tu­ally they all die.” It will work every time be­cause no mat­ter how im­por­tant a char­ac­ter seems to be to the story or how loved they are by the au­di­ence, they may sud­denly be killed.

Your friends will con­sent, and then you can all get an­gry and bad­mouth the writer and pro­duc­ers at HBO.

There are hun­dreds of char­ac­ters on the show and they get killed and come back to life all the time. No­body is ab­so­lutely good or purely evil. It’s com­pli­cated, but remember that the Stark fam­ily is the most hu­mane.

Some sim­ple re­marks you can use in­clude, “Oh, I love Jon Snow,” or “Sansa Stark is such a stupid girl.” Or just say “Hodor,” which is the name of a large man who is slow of wits and only ca­pa­ble of say­ing the word “Hodor.”

Daen­erys is the girl who owns the dragons and is con­sid­ered the best char­ac­ter on the show. She is known as Queen Daen­erys in many ar­eas, and her ti­tles also in­clude The Un­burnt and Mother of Dragons. And the list goes on as the plot un­rav­els.

So you can just say, “It takes the trans­la­tor girl for­ever to an­nounce Daen­erys’ name, right?” Peo­ple will laugh or nod along and see you as one of them.

An­other good joke is, “Has winter come yet?” In the fan­tasy world, each sea­son lasts years, and they al­ways talk about how “winter is com­ing;” this has been a big deal for a long time.

When some­thing cruel or ex­tremely shock­ing hap­pens, you should say, “It’s just like the Red Wed­ding.” The Red Wed­ding refers to a mas­sacre dur­ing a wed­ding in the show.

Pretend that you are used to nu­dity and bru­tal­ity, be­cause if you watch any episode, you’re guar­an­teed to see both sex and mur­der.

When it comes to the point where you are al­most caught for not know­ing the spe­cific de­tails of the show, just say, “It’s dif­fer­ent from the books.”

It’s a safe re­sponse be­cause al­though it seems there are a lot of book fans who look down upon fans who only watch the TV series, book fans are rare to find in real life. If your friend con­tin­ues to press you and asks what hap­pens in the books, just put on a con­de­scend­ing smirk and say, “Why don’t you go ahead and read the books yourself.”

The ul­ti­mate so­lu­tion would be to just cover your ears and say, “Lalalalala, no spoil­ers!” This way you can stop the con­ver­sa­tion once and for all and you are free from re­veal­ing that you ac­tu­ally know noth­ing about the show.

What­ever you do, don’t con­fess that you’ve never watched the show, be­cause that would be so­cial sui­cide.

It’s not just be­cause your friends will think less of you and stop talk­ing to you. On the con­trary, they will start try­ing to con­vince you that this is the best show ever. As a fan my­self, I guar­an­tee that we will an­noy you to death un­less you prom­ise that you will watch it. The opin­ions ex­pressed in this ar­ti­cle are the au­thor’s own and do not nec­es­sar­ily re­flect the views of the Global Times.

Il­lus­tra­tion: Xia Qing/GT

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