Dating tips from a foreign girl in China for Chinese guys
If white girls in China were a flavor of Doritos, what would we be called? Nacho First Choice. That’s right! Not your first choice at all. When I first moved to China five years ago, I had no idea how hard my dating life would be. Most foreign men in China are not looking for a laowai girlfriend; they only want to date Chinese women, while most Chinese men appear to be afraid to talk to us. Be brave and say something, Chinese guys! We are here waiting for you.
I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to date in China until my first white boyfriend “ghosted” me for an unknown reason. The term ghosted means they simply stop responding to your text messages and disappear into thin air, just like a ghost! Come to find out, the reason he did this was that he had a secret Chinese girlfriend the entire time. After that, I found myself being a leftover white girl in China with no hope for the future when it comes to dating.
Why don’t more Chinese guys talk to foreign women? Are they afraid of us? Do they not like us? Is it the language barrier? Most of the time, if a Chinese guy adds me on WeChat, I find he really doesn’t know how to start a conversation. He will simply text “Hello,” which really isn’t a proper conversation starter for women. So, perhaps I can give you Chinese guys who would like to date white women some pointers on how to approach us.
First, ask an interesting question. “How are you?” is not a great conversation starter. “Where are you from?” is also not the greatest opener, as a foreigner gets asked this one hundred times a day.
Here’s a hint: If you add someone on WeChat only due to what their profile picture looks like, at least scroll through their Moments and see what the person is up to in her daily life. Find something you think is cool and try to start the conversation that way. Something like, “Hey I saw you are into stand-up comedy. I really love a good laugh. Do you perform here in Beijing?” It shows you took a little time to learn about her and that you are interested in her as a human being and not just because she’s pretty.
What can really seal the deal for a Chinese guy looking to date a foreigner? And no, the answer is not to send a hongbao. The answer is: Ask us to do something fun. Don’t ask us to exchange language lessons. We aren’t looking for another student! We are looking for a guy who genuinely wants to hang out with us and expresses interest in our hobbies and likes. You can start off simple with coffee, but if you want to be a bit more adventurous, find something you know we enjoy doing and ask us to do that.
If you follow these three easy hints, you’ll be well on your way to finding that perfect laowai girlfriend! So start shaking your phone and find out who’s nearby!