Dat­ing tips from a for­eign girl in China for Chi­nese guys

Global Times – Metro Shanghai - - FRONT PAGE - By Lau­ren David

If white girls in China were a fla­vor of Dori­tos, what would we be called? Na­cho First Choice. That’s right! Not your first choice at all. When I first moved to China five years ago, I had no idea how hard my dat­ing life would be. Most for­eign men in China are not look­ing for a laowai girl­friend; they only want to date Chi­nese women, while most Chi­nese men ap­pear to be afraid to talk to us. Be brave and say some­thing, Chi­nese guys! We are here wait­ing for you.

I didn’t re­al­ize how dif­fi­cult it would be to date in China un­til my first white boyfriend “ghosted” me for an un­known rea­son. The term ghosted means they sim­ply stop re­spond­ing to your text mes­sages and dis­ap­pear into thin air, just like a ghost! Come to find out, the rea­son he did this was that he had a se­cret Chi­nese girl­friend the en­tire time. After that, I found my­self be­ing a left­over white girl in China with no hope for the fu­ture when it comes to dat­ing.

Why don’t more Chi­nese guys talk to for­eign women? Are they afraid of us? Do they not like us? Is it the lan­guage bar­rier? Most of the time, if a Chi­nese guy adds me on WeChat, I find he re­ally doesn’t know how to start a con­ver­sa­tion. He will sim­ply text “Hello,” which re­ally isn’t a proper con­ver­sa­tion starter for women. So, per­haps I can give you Chi­nese guys who would like to date white women some point­ers on how to ap­proach us.

First, ask an in­ter­est­ing ques­tion. “How are you?” is not a great con­ver­sa­tion starter. “Where are you from?” is also not the great­est opener, as a for­eigner gets asked this one hun­dred times a day.

Here’s a hint: If you add some­one on WeChat only due to what their pro­file pic­ture looks like, at least scroll through their Mo­ments and see what the per­son is up to in her daily life. Find some­thing you think is cool and try to start the con­ver­sa­tion that way. Some­thing like, “Hey I saw you are into stand-up com­edy. I re­ally love a good laugh. Do you per­form here in Bei­jing?” It shows you took a lit­tle time to learn about her and that you are in­ter­ested in her as a hu­man be­ing and not just be­cause she’s pretty.

What can re­ally seal the deal for a Chi­nese guy look­ing to date a for­eigner? And no, the an­swer is not to send a hong­bao. The an­swer is: Ask us to do some­thing fun. Don’t ask us to ex­change lan­guage lessons. We aren’t look­ing for an­other stu­dent! We are look­ing for a guy who gen­uinely wants to hang out with us and ex­presses in­ter­est in our hob­bies and likes. You can start off sim­ple with cof­fee, but if you want to be a bit more ad­ven­tur­ous, find some­thing you know we en­joy do­ing and ask us to do that.

If you fol­low th­ese three easy hints, you’ll be well on your way to find­ing that per­fect laowai girl­friend! So start shak­ing your phone and find out who’s nearby!

Il­lus­tra­tion: Luo Xuan/GT The opin­ions ex­pressed in this ar­ti­cle are the au­thor’s own and do not nec­es­sar­ily re­flect the views of the Global Times.

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