A Hong Kong Eclipse

HK Magazine - - PAGE 3 -

Hong Kong wit­nessed a par­tial so­lar eclipse this week, al­though it was mostly hid­den be­hind cloud cover. It got us think­ing about other peo­ple and places in our mag­nif­i­cent city where bril­liance is clouded over.

Oc­to­pus Cards

This week we learned that come Novem­ber, we might be able to store up to $3,000 on our Oc­to­pus cards. Sure, there are valid con­cerns about how easy it is to steal money from con­tact­less cards. But the true ge­nius of load­ing up an Oc­to­pus with $3,000 is this: The gar­lic noo­dles in 7-Eleven cost about $10. Sud­denly we’ve en­abled the ef­fort­less pur­chase of 300 or­ders of gar­lic noo­dles, or “one drunk per­son’s worth.” This is a to­tal game-changer.

Lee Po

No one’s giv­ing the pre­vi­ously miss­ing, now dis­cov­ered book­seller enough credit. Af­ter all, wasn’t he able, ap­par­ently sin­gle­hand­edly, to smug­gle him­self from Hong Kong to the main­land un­de­tected? Sure, most peo­ple are try­ing to go the other di­rec­tion, but hey: that’s in­ge­nu­ity for you.

ATV

We all thought the ail­ing broad­caster had fi­nally run out of money last week and would shut down—un­til a rep­re­sen­ta­tive of in­vestor Si Rong­bin showed up with LIT­ER­ALLY a suit­case full of cash and in­jected enough money to keep the sta­tion creak­ing on­wards un­til April 1, when its li­cense ex­pires. Do you see the ge­nius at work here? Every ad­di­tional day that ATV is on the air is one more day we don’t have to use the in­ter­net to down­load clunky poorly dubbed 90s China travel shows, which is the only thing any­one wants to watch. Yes, this is just a bril­liant scheme to en­sure the fail­ure of Net­flix.

Ed­ward Le­ung

The Hong Kong Indige­nous mem­ber, who picked up 60,000 votes in the re­cent Legco by-elec­tion, ad­mit­ted this week that de­spite his fer­vently anti-main­land stance, he was ac­tu­ally born on the main­land. To an un­ex­pe­ri­enced ob­server, this might de­serve a whole new sec­tion in the dic­tio­nary un­der “irony.” But look a lit­tle deeper: Le­ung’s a first-gen­er­a­tion im­mi­grant try­ing to fend off other im­mi­grants, right?

Well, surely no one could be that much of a hyp­ocrite.

It HAS to be a cun­ning plot. Doesn’t it?

CY Le­ung

If there was ever a case of hid­ing your light un­der a bushel, this is it. The Chief Ex­ec­u­tive’s aloof, un­car­ing de­meanor ob­vi­ously hides a bleed­ing heart that’s des­per­ate to in­ter­act with the peo­ple of Hong Kong. The sad tragedy is that he can never do it and still re­tain the love of China. Love or be loved: How can we ask any hu­man be­ing to choose be­tween the two?! Pity poor CY Le­ung. Pity him.

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