Last Week In Re­al­ity

HK Magazine - - NEWS - Edited by Stephanie Tsui

SAT 30

Tragic En­trance A woman re­turns from a morn­ing jog to her room in a cor­ru­gated iron house in Yau Ma Tei to find an 83-year-old man ly­ing mo­tion­less on her bed. See­ing a large hole in the roof and rub­ble on and around the bed, she sus­pects that the man had fallen through the roof. Au­thor­i­ties pro­nounce him dead at the scene. Ini­tial in­ves­ti­ga­tions show that the man, who had been suf­fer­ing from can­cer and di­a­betes, had jumped from the roof and fallen into the woman’s home on the fourth floor podium. The woman dis­cards her mat­tress.

SUN 1

A video shared to a Face­book page goes vi­ral: A woman leans next to the doors of an MTR car­riage with one leg be­tween those of a man, who is kiss­ing her. The man ap­pears flushed, and is rub­bing his groin against the woman for the length of the two-minute­long video. Some ne­ti­zens sug­gest that the man has an in­tel­lec­tual dis­abil­ity and crit­i­cize the per­son who up­loaded the video for not alert­ing MTR staff, while oth­ers liken the man’s be­hav­ior to that of a dog in heat.

MON 2

False Alarm A se­cu­rity guard at a res­i­den­tial block in Happy Val­ley sees what ap­pears to be a gun-tot­ing in­di­vid­ual in the build­ing and no­ti­fies the po­lice. Emer­gency Unit of­fi­cers with bul­let­proof vests, hel­mets and sub­ma­chine guns ar­rive and be­gin to search the premises. The search ends when of­fi­cers find a 13-year-old boy with a toy gun in one of the flats. He had just re­turned home from a wargame.

TUE 3

DIY Dis­as­ter A man pushes his bike onto a Cen­tral-bound MTR train. He is rest­ing a home­made bat­tery pack for his speaker on the bike seat. As the train nears Sham Shui Po sta­tion, there is a small ex­plo­sion and smoke starts to pour from the box. Six hun­dred com­muters are evac­u­ated from the smoke-filled car­riage and MTR staff and po­lice take the man, whose hand is bleed­ing, to as­sist with their in­ves­ti­ga­tions. He says he had found the bat­ter­ies on a street in Kwai Chung.

WED 4

Po­lice ar­rest 11 peo­ple in­volved with a med­i­cal cen­ter which claims to pro­vide ser­vices that can re­vi­tal­ize the brain and cure can­cer. Pa­tients who sought help from the cen­ter were re­quired to vow not to un­dergo surgery, chemo­ther­apy or take Western or Chi­nese medicine, or all treat­ment fees would be for­feit. As part of the treat­ment process, the cen­ter would tie mag­nets to pa­tients’ fore­heads and limbs, and in­struct them to soak their feet in gin­ger wa­ter to im­prove their im­mune sys­tem and kill can­cer cells. An in­ves­ti­ga­tion is un­der­way.

THU 5

M(TR)MA A video of two mid­dle-aged women fight­ing on an MTR train goes vi­ral: The video be­gins with the women wrestling with one an­other on a row of empty seats. One woman has grabbed the other woman by her col­lar as two male pas­sen­gers step in try­ing to break up the fight, but without suc­cess. The women yell for other pas­sen­gers to call the po­lice and accuse each other of start­ing the fight. They fi­nally stop fight­ing when an MTR em­ployee in­ter­venes. Due to their larger size, some ne­ti­zens start call­ing the women “heavy­weight fight­ers.” Oth­ers rec­om­mend that the women dis­cuss Korean dra­mas and how hand­some the Chief Ex­ec­u­tive is in­stead.

FRI 6

Nice Save? A photo of a ban­ner put up by the Demo­cratic Al­liance for the Bet­ter­ment and Progress of Hong Kong in Wong Tai Sin goes vi­ral: The ban­ner reads “Happy Par­ent’s Day.” A week ear­lier, a DAB mem­ber had put up a ban­ner which read “Happy Mother’s Day” in Chi­nese and “Happy Fa­ther’s Day” in English. Some ne­ti­zens accuse the DAB of dis­crim­i­nat­ing against sin­gle-par­ent fam­i­lies, while oth­ers sug­gest the party should just make an all-pur­pose “Happy Fes­ti­val” ban­ner.

Dry Hump­ing Mir­a­cles Don’t Hap­pen

Il­lus­tra­tions: Joyce Kwok

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